To the middle child and the youngest child,

To get out of work two days in a row try any, or all, of the following…

1. Hide all the building material (we have found it to be most effective)

2.Bend a couple fingers backwards (actually it didn’t work very well did it?)

3. Insist on finishing your cup of coffee before you’ll work and take all day to drink it (sorry, this may prevent you from doing anything else as well)

4. Admit you feel the need to cook and clean (some sacrifice is needed….and chances are no one will believe you)

5. Put a sign on mothers new house that says “closed for cleaning until further notice” and then put wigs on the brooms and dance around the new floor with them.

6. Look busy and just walk around carrying a drill (works every time, hour after hour after hour…but it’s a boring thing to do on your “day off”)

7. Walk out to the house with your grouse guns and when everyone leaves tell father, “since no ones here to work, we’re goin huntin”

8. Get lost on your way to work…it is a very long way to walk…and up hill…

9. Pretend you suffer from snow blindness and start walking into walls and out windows (please use caution when walking out a window…it could be a very painful day off)

10. Or you could just tell father it takes all day to get ready for the newsy news staff Christmas party.

Good luck!! And remember, nothing ventured is nothing gained.

What ever guys can do, girls can do better”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, spoken in true ignorance. We ran a couple of unbiased tests just to see if girls could do anything guys can do only better.

Hammering a nail:
Guy, four hits per nail.
Girl, 10 tinks per nail…and that’s an improvement since 100 tinks per nail.
Result of test 1: guys are better at hammering nails.*

Carrying one 4X8 sheet of chip board:
1 guy =1 sheet.
2 girls =1 sheet
Result of test 2: 1 guy is equal to 2 girls.*

Screwing in a board while hanging out a window:
Guy, 10 boards.
Girl, 1 screw out of 3 needed in 1 board.
Result of test 3: girl was afraid of heights and did not complete the test so test was invalid…*

Holding the dummy end of a tape measure:
Result of test 4. Both are equally capable of holding the dummy end.

Holding the other end of the Tape measure:
Guy “167 inches and 7/8ths”
Girl “167 inches and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8ths”
Result of test 5: guy is more efficient when time is money.*

*there are exceptions to every rule. There are guys who can’t do these things any better than a girl and there are girls who are more than capable of doing these things. But in a general way, (average girls vrs average guys) results are typical.

Note: Our title is not “What ever girls can do, guys can do better” if it had been, we would have had girly tests on what girls can do better(such as measuring in tsp). But oddly enough, we’ve never heard a guy spout off about how he can do anything a girl can do, only better.

Merry Christmas

From the silly sister's, at the happy place.

yesterday and today

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This was our floor on Tuesday, or, parts of it anyway,

And this, was yesterday...

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And this, was today...

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See the difference?

our mistake

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We're in New York trying out

for the Bachelor Average Jane contest.

To our fans

We lied

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We're in Paris, not Vegas...

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JUST KIDDING

lost wages

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.


Oh, and we've found a clock!!!!

Another good day

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We rearranged some of the walls for mother. We think she likes it.

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And if all the puzzel pieces had been right, it would have looked like this before dark on Wednesday.

injury #4

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No that is not the middle childs, or the youngest childs, hairy leg.

The favorite father has the honor of sporting the new November scrape.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, and to the Turkeys, good luck.

a good day at the happy place,

Something exciting arived by Semi this morning (And yes, for those wondering, it did get stuck)

No, it wasn't roses, but its almost a piano!

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Unfortunatlty, mother is not happy with where the walls are.

something serious

Okay, we'll make it quick. Never mind.

one good thing,

Procratinators quit tomorrow,

Tomorrow

We'll put up a post about procrastinators tomorrow.

Until then we remain,

The Newsy Staff,

50 newsy points to the first commentor!
and 5 points for all others.

oh, okay.

It all started around 6am, or rather 5am depending on the state. The state we're in(not mental) happens to be the 6am...this little bit of information doesn't really matter for the rest of the post but we thought we'd share a bit of really useless information.

Anyway, around 6am(that would be our time) a very horrible little alarm clock went off. The youngest child got up, kicked the middle child, and then went into the bathroom. She came out 29 minutes later after lossing the battle with the faucet. The middle child then crawled out of bed and went into the bathroom. Neither the middle child nor the youngest child turned on the computer. When the middle child came out, the youngest child was unmaking the bed and tossing everything into a little closet. See, it was cleaning day, it only happens once a week here in the hole. After unmaking the bed, the silly sister's made their rather discusting sandwhiches.

They left their hole around 7:04. Thats four minutes later than usual and makes the difference between trafic and heavy trafic.(are you sure you want to hear about our longest most boringest day ever?) Okay.

They arrived at their day home for two weeks around 7:25 after driving 9 miles. Once they were parked in a nice close spot they reclined their chairs and watched a movie.

At 8:30 they turned off the movie, crawled out of lil'ol blue 2 and sulked into their booth,(which the favorite father had furnished with two chairs). They set themselves up in their chairs picked up their books and prepared for a long day.

The rest of the day is rather blurry, too blurry for an hour by hour account.

Sometime after 2pm, some of the rodeo crew showed began to mingle with the common folk, or perhaps they werent from the rodeo, but there was definatly more people in the isles, instead of one stragler every 100 yards there were two. In short, other than making fun of the hats weighing themselves on the scale across the isle, there was no other sport to be had.

hey,

anyone want to hear about the longest most boringest day ever?

while driving through Wisconsin

the middle child and the youngest child had the unfortunate experience of being separated from the favorite parents in lil'ol blue 2. There was one detestible vehicle that insisted on driving between the lil'ol blue 2's and lil'ol blue 3's fendors. The middle child resented the vehical and finally the youngest child yelled out at the offending vehicle in frustration,
"Oh! Go drive off an exit ramp!"
And it did.

ah, ha!

we have arrived here safely.










though here is not where we intended to be, it is where we have ended up.

Farewell

Goodbye happy place!

Greetings Kentucky.

sigh.

The ugly duckling

The other day we saw a vehicle that looked like it was a car that wanted to be a pickup and just as it was finishing its transformation it decided it wanted to be a van instead. So instead of becoming something beautiful like it had imagined, it now looks like all three combined and is as ugly as a purple duck in a stroller.

to bed we say, to bed!

after driving for 15 hours straight last night, we finally arrived home at 6am this morning. And instead of going to bed like inteligent people, we stayed awake so we could check our e-mails, our blogs, our myspace, the free weekend of stars, pay bills, and have the earliest viewing of little glow worm. But our real reason for not going to bed this morning was so we could go out as soon as it was dawn and see what has become of our footings...which we left somewhere during the middle of a snowstorm...it seems we came home in the same storm.

It is now day light, and we are off to see what we can see before we go to bed.

Dear Friends, Family, and Fans

We may not be updating for a few weeks so we thought we'd leave you with one last letter. This happens to be our favorite letter so we hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

The letter...

N


Clearly its the greatest letter ever! All the greatest words start with "N" like newsy, newsyday, no, newsy, nice, newsy, normal, (s)nack, newsy, neighbor, newsy, news, newsy. See? Is it any wonder its our favorite letter?

Our progress

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It started with a shovel in the demolition childs hands; she's the one in the hole blending in with the clay, while the engineer points out the clumps she missed.

There was obvious progress...once the favorite father got his tractor in there.

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They may have had some help from an excavator...at least thats what the pictures imply.

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Oh, there may have also been a dump truck that the favorite father was running around in.

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But clearly, there was progress.

What our day was like today

Okay, enough with the stinkin pictures using up our thousand words, this time, we’re using up our quota of words, with actual words. So take that you stinking pictures.

Picture this: A very nice looking, muddy, tractor, with a clean middle child sitting smugly in the driver’s seat. A very deep, clay, hole just to the left of the tractor, with a very muddy youngest child standing in the bottom of it, looking very odd and out of place without a shovel to lean on....Okay we give up, a picture would be much better, unfortunately, we didn’t take any…

defective

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Some cars come equiped with two trunks.

The newsy company car did not (what can you expect from a junker?). So when the original trunk finally got filled with toys, the staff had to add the second one.

No title

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1000 newsy points to the first person to correctly state whats missing from this picture and how many of them we cut down...

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Evil taskmaster. Poor oldest child.

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They're only pretending, this doesn't prove anything...

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Little glow worm is always happy to give the ET "Awoooo" to anyone feeling sore...the workers are very lucky she lives so close...

23

Happy Birthday to who
Happy Birthday to who
Happy Birthday to whooo-ooo
Happy Birthday to who?

Injury # 2 Incident # 3

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Never argue with a tractor over a tree.

Oh the pain!!!!

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Youngest child: "See how purple that one little spot is?"

Middle child: "Who cares about your stupid nail youngest child!!! My MENTO!!!!"

Yesterday

We did some stuff

And then...

Pooff!!!!

Either someone finally sneezed too hard,

or...

Little glow worm and grandpa were playing around in the tractor,

we're still investigating...

ha ha ha huh

Its an exciting day today!!!!!!

This is a picture...

You just can't tell that its a picture...but seriously, its a really cute picture of little glow worm in one of her green outfits looking very guilty about something. Can't you see it? Oh well, we sure can.

Our favorite quote from Westward The Women

“There’s a freshening breeze that we smell….birds ahead!!!”


Okay, so that’s not a direct quote from Westward The Women; its been changed to fit our purpose as usual.



100 free newsy points to the first person to correctly guess what word we changed and what the orginal word was.

Short and sweet.

Because yesterday’s blog was so long, today’s is going to be really short.





Oh yes, and a very Happy Birthday to the favorite Texas grandma and the favorite Ely aunt.

The workout of the month is:

Mowing lawn

Note: Never, ever, mow lawn when its hot out or when there are people around who might see you. We recommend doing this workout after dark in the cool of the evening, or early in the morning…before dawn; in short, do this workout whenever you can annoy the most amount of people without any of them knowing who’s making all the noise.

For the right handed person, use an old push lawn mower with a broken front tire on the right side. Make sure the broken tire tips inward to the left. This will give your normally unused left arm a thorough workout as it constantly has to correct the leftward pull of the tire. This also makes mowing in a circle very convenient. For the left handed person, you can sit on the porch and relax since you don’t need to workout your left hand.

Always remember: Never mow alone, two people pushing the same lawn mower is ideal for this workout. Both should be blind folded though since we stated above that this workout should be done when no one can see. And in that case, you may as well do it during daylight hours as long as it’s not warm out.

For a more extensive mowing workout, run while pushing the lawn mower; we recommend heading in the direction of Dairy Queen while you're running.

to work or not to work

There comes a day, in every one of our weeks, where we must leave our comfy computer chair and work…










this is not that day

A moment please...

This blog is dedicated to all of our un-blogable moments.
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The moment has now past, thank you for your time…

Things that happen to us...

Perhaps the black and white Warner Bros logo should have tipped us off. But no, we watched 3 hours of the Phantom Of The Opera before we discovered it was all in black and white. It wasn’t until the grave scene at the end when the red rose showed up black that we figured out something was amiss with our DVD. We immediately determined to take it back to wal-mart. That being decided we took it out of our DVD player and put the stupid thing back in its color case. It was then that we noticed that our DVD player logo was also turning up black and white on the screen of the TV…we naturally came up with three possibilities, there being three of us there at the time.

1. The stinkin DVD corrupted our whole system (it was a logical thought in the times of computer viruses).
2. Our rather old, but large, TV was toying with our mental capabilities
or…
3. The connections on the back of the player had been hooked up wrong.

Unfortunately we discovered after investigating that option number 3 was indeed the problem….and we found, much to our horror, that we’d wasted 3 hours of perfectly good and beautiful color in black and white.

Believe us, things are better in color.

Bare tracks!!!!!!!

Or should we say BEAR Tracks?!!!!!

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BOTH!!!!

Finally proof that man and bears walked together millions of years ago.........

Seriously though, we did see a bear yesterday; don't worry, it was on the one eyed mutts blind side so no harm done...

Things we find fascinating

We use to think some girls just wanted to be our friend because of our brother. But we know better now….By the lack of female friends that we now have, we are convinced that all girls were only our friends because of our brother…that’s why we had to become our own best friends.

One of our favorite hymns

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

Text: Joseph M. Scriven, 1820-1886
Music: Charles C. Converse, 1832-1918

1. What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

2. Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

3. Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

The favorite mother says

there are no calories in the broken animal crackers…only the unbroken ones have them.







In other news, we’ve decided to have another secret party today, so anyone wishing to come should take the necessary steps towards that goal….we’ll be in the lake, or on the lake, or somewhere near the lake.

Mix all together for a happy cleaning experience*

Do not try this at home…or should it be “alone”?*

Lysol Cling toilet bowl cleaner for toilets
Comet Bathroom Cleaner for the showers (no scum intended)
Mr. Clean for the sink (we prefer the blue stuff)
Soft Scrub Liquid Gel for pitch on the floors (and anything else we wish to see disappear before our eyes)
And last but most certainly not least, 409 All Purpose Cleaner (the purple stuff; we don’t really care so much for its cleaning ability, but it sure makes things smell really good)

Results all typical.

Mix all together for a happy cleaning experience*…All our days are happy days…

Remember, we’re professionals!...and now that we’ve just confessed our chemical dependency we feel the need to go air out our heads and reflect on the folly of our writings.










*do not try this at home…or alone…and never ever at the advice of two very silly sister’s.

Technical stuff...we wouldn't understand it.

Um, ah…due to some technical difficulties and…ah…lack of time…missing camera… mild depression…Yeah, we will not be able to put up a picture until sometime later….sometime, perhaps, when we feel like it…

Its about time!!!

Finally we’re on-line again!!!





and...that’s all we have to say about that…

hey hey

is is any any one one else else seeing seeing double double??


double double the the fun fun!!

How to wake up at 5am...

Don't set an alarm clock, just drink an 8 ounce glass of water before you go to bed....at least we hope you'll wake up...




newsy can not be held responsible for any accidents...

How to wake up at 5am...

Don't set an alarm clock, just drink an 8 ounce glass of water before you go to bed....at least we hope you'll wake up...




newsy can not be held responsible for any accidents...

We’ve discovered…

We are friends with someone who is related to someone who knows someone who is best friends with Brandon!!!!!!!!…what a small world!!!! Life is good!

The favorite mothers new refrigerator!!!

Is it not a beauty?

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It even has double doors! Just what the favorite mother always wanted! Too bad neither of the doors open into a freezer...but hey, when you're putting two little refrigerators on top of each other, what more could you possibly want or expect?

Why a full body swimsuit is the best:

It saves a remarkable amount of time when applying sun block since you’ll only need to apply it in the five uncovered spots, face, hands, and feet. And in the event that you don’t have time for such extravagance before swimming, you’ll only need a very limited amount of Aloe Vera lotion to compensate for the neglect of above mentioned face, hands, and feet.





Happy swimming to all!

A tree falls,

If a tree falls down in the forest and there is no one around, is it still the middle childs fault?

What should be done?

The youngest child thinks she was bitten by a mouse recently. Should she:

A. Go to the doctor for a shot.
B. Go swimming and forget about it.
C. Wait and see if symptoms show up in about 3 months.
D. Wait and mention it to the dentist sometime.
E. Tie herself to a tree like they do in movies.
F. Paint her toenails.
G. None of the above.
H. All of the above.


Choose the best answer; personally, we're going to be studying B for a while today...

A memory of SonShine 2004

It was the last night of SonShine; most kids were waiting to be loaded on to their buses and vans while also waiting for the last concert of the night to end. But the middle child and the youngest child were not doing either. They were roaming aimlessly around, thinking, no doubt, about leaving soon, but as they wandered near a port-a-potty the youngest child said, (like every good youngest child) "I have to pee middle child". So they walked over to the port-a-potties. They didn’t notice the group of kids sitting cross-legged across from the port-a-potties as they went in. But while they were taking care of business the constant chant of, "Push! Push! Push" and then the slam of a door, and then the general cheer of "Yeah" naturally accompanied by loud clapping, clued them in that they had not chosen ordinary port-a-potties. The youngest child stepped out of her port-a-potty hesitantly and ducked her head as the crowd cheered. She turned around as another door slammed and saw the middle child bow to the crowd as they also cheered her success.

This post is dedicated to anyone going to SonShine this year….beware the bathrooms…

A question,

Has anyone ever heard of the "Fibonnacci Sequence" or was it just one of those things a math teacher makes up for the sack of passing on useless information?

All we know is that its not in the dictionary and it has something to do with the rate at which two rabbits will reproduce after two months.

We’ve sat on this unforgettable information for three years now and we’re doing the only sensible thing we can do with it…we’re passing it on to others…

What day?

??????

Happy 4th Newsy News!

We would like to take this opportunity to say a very happy Tuesyday 4th of July to our Favorite newsy news friends, and to the newsy news staff as well...


oh that would be us! Happy fourth to us and to you, from the newsy news letter staff and fan club!

we highly recommend it...

Sometime, if you happen to have the great honor of peeing in a Wal-mart store or any public restroom, try the following for your own amusment...

When you're safley in the stall of the bathroom chirp out in a normal voice, "tinkle, tinkle tinkle tinkle tinkle..." and continue until you're done. This will cover any real tinkling sounds you make, and if anyone looks at you strangly when you walk out of the stall look at them stupidly and say, "What? I was tinkling!"

Sunday

ha ha! We're one up on everybody now.













Nobody else posts on Sundays...we're going to take the rest of the day off.

Life is good!

this months workout:

Fishing:

More importantly casting

Now, we used to think we were experts on the subject until we met someone who was truly proficient, so today’s workout is going to be for the beginners and the intermediate, anyone seeking the advanced workout will have to wait until we’ve perfected it ourselves.

For the beginner: Use a zebco closed face button release reel. Hold pole horizontally and straight out in front of yourself. Push the button in and hold it. Swing the pole back over your head and whip it forward. Be sure to release the button as you whip it forward. Splash…good! But next time don’t release the pole when you release the button. Okay, go find another pole and repeat until your arm feels like its going to fall off…or for about 5 minutes.

For the intermediate: Do the same as the beginner, only be sure to look behind yourself before you whip the pole forward, this should eliminate the annoying hats that keep collecting on the hook. To make this workout harder, use an open reel.

That’s it for this month, remember don’t over do it!

A week in remembrance of one day!!!

That’s right, we’ve spent the whole week remembering the first day of summer only to discover, we’ve missed a whole week of summer.












Oh and happy anniversity to our favorite brother and his wife our favorite sister-in-law.

Happy Birthday!

A very happy 30th birthday to our favorite brother-in-law!!!!!!

We may be a little late saying this but we mean it with all our hearts!







Note: oldest child, we reserve the right to forget anyones birthday...sorry, better luck next year.

The party

Wednesday, June 21st
We will be celebrating the 3rd Annual Cattail, rootbeer keg(that parts new), Party and 5th birthday of the newsy news letter….plus it’s the longest day of the year…who wont be partying?

The itinerary of the day:

4am, wake up and go kayaking
Sometime after that return for first breakfast
7am go to the Y with the favorite mother
return for second breakfast and coffee.
Rest
Have another coffee break
10am clean cabin,
12pm eat lunch,
2pm play croquet
Eat snack
3pm go party barging
Eat snack
4pm pick cattails
Eat snack
5pm crowning of the guest of honor with cattails
6pm eat supper at the campfire
8pm play disc golf
9pm eat smores
10 visit Mama’s Pond
Eat snack
11pm Skeeters go to bed
Eat bed time snack
12pm we go to bed

This is our schedule for tomorrows 3rd annual Cattail party, everything is subject to change if we don’t feel like doing it, but if all else fails you can be sure we will stick to the "Code". Not included on this list is, Volley Ball, Water Skiing/tubing, one small surprise and many many hikes…we’ll squeeze it all in where we can, but as you can see our day looks packed as it is.

Such that they are, here are the pictures

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We're the ones on the edges...and no we are not wearing skirts

And the best picture of all....

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grinnin purty for the pictures!

The computer didn't download the bottoms of the pictures...oh well ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, but we still love technology.

The Question

Why does the middle child shudder at the sight of a rake or hoe?

Deep thoughts by the silly sisters

Do you know how difficult it is to begin everyday in a good mood?












We've about given up on it!

For our favorite Air Force cousin in honor of his wedding...

From My Fair Lady
"Get me to the church on time"

Some words have been changed to better fit what we wanted to say on this happy occasion…sob…

There's just a few more hours,

That's all the time you've got.

A few more hours Before you tie the knot.

Our cousins getting married on tomorrow!

Ding and Dong! The cousins are gonna chime.

Pull out the stopper! It’ll be a whopper!

But get him to the church on time!

Our cousins gotta be there in the mornin'!

Spruced up and lookin' really fine.

Girls, come to kiss him;

His fiancée she will kick them.

But get him to the church on time!

If he is dancin' Roll up the floor.

If he is whistlin' Whewt him out the door!

For he’s gettin' married on the morrow'

Ding and Dong! His cousins are gonna chime.

Kick up a ruckus the silly sister’s lost the compass;

but they’ll get him to the church,

Get him to the church, For goodness sake,

get him to the church on time!

He’s getting married in the morning

Ding and Dong! The cousins are gonna chime.

Drug him or jail him, Stamp him and mail him.

But get him to the church on time!

He’s gotta be there in the morning

Spruced up and lookin' in his prime.
Some bloke who's able Lift up the table,

And get em to the church on time!

If he is flying then get him down.

If he is woozy, Make him keep it down!

For he’s getting married in the morning!

Ding and Dong! the cousins are gonna chime.

Feather and tar He; Call out the Army;

But get him to the church.

Get him to the church...

For goodness sake,

get him to the church on time!

The silly cousins will be singing this part on their way home from gallivanting tonight:

Starlight is reelin' home to bed now.

Mornin' is smearin' up the sky.

The sleepin town is wakin'.

Daylight is breakin'.

Good luck, old chum, Good health, goodbye.

He’s gettin' married in the mornin'

Ding and Dong! The cousin are gonna chime...

Hail and salute Him Then haul off and boot him...

And get him to the church, Get him to the church...

For goodness sake, get him to the church on time!

See you there Cousin, and to Our new favorite Air Force Cousins wife, welcome to the craziest batch of cousins you could ever hope to avoid!!!

This weeks workout:

We have come to the conclusion that a workout once a week is way too ambitious for us right now. So from now on, we will only be working out once a month…or possibly twice a month…if we’ve had enough sugar.

Today’s post is going to be…

Ummmm...











To be continued…

Shhhhhhh

We're not suppose to be on the blog hee hee hee hee, we're suppose to be cleaning, hee hee hee ha ha ha ha ah what oh! oops................

The company car,

What you might find in the newsy news company car:

Many pens and pencils buried among some useless items in the center council, one very classy pen leaking ink all over; melted red and blue color crayons. Two empty mountain dew cans; something sticky oozing out of the cup holder; a coffeehouse cup on the floor of the passenger’s side. Toilet paper in the glove compartment hidden among the McDonalds napkins the newsy staff has taken for writing material. A few scraps of paper containing rough drafts of past newsy news letters; receipts from McDonalds dollar meals, and the favorite mothers grocery lists. On the ceiling of the car there are hidden weapons…little pins (of all the places the newsy staff has been) stuck into the ceiling…for some strange reason the pins find it amusing to fall onto the seats at any inconvenient time. A deck of cards, gloves, lip gloss, matches, flashlight, and salt and pepper.

One box of "Newsy Tissues", sporting the traditional words "Bless You", and "May all your sneezes be boogerless". A road atlas for road trips; sand on the floor. In the back window the wings of Northwest Airlines sit beside an extra large centipede and a few natural bugs.

The trunk is filled with toys. There is a football and six orange cones to make a field. Two pouches of disc golf disc’s; one hundred and fifty Frisbees. One baseball, two mitts, a pool stick, tennis rackets (that have never been used), jumper cables (that have been used), towing rope, and engine oil.

maybe it is spring...

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hey, we want to be a part of the bunny blog fame!...unfortunately, we already let these little runts go...they strangely resembled our old Buckwheat though...not to be coonfused with FooFoo.

the #1 rule of fashion

"Fashion is what one wears one's self; unfashionable is what everyone else is wearing."







from the movie An Ideal Husband

This weeks workout:

For our favorite singing cousin on her birthday (a.k.a. the other oldest child)

In honor of our favorite singing cousins birthday, we are going to take the rest of the day off and not do a workout at all today. That’s right, today’s workout is going to be: trying not to workout.

Do what ever it takes to avoid workingout on this very special day. Throw a party, crash a party, or stay in bed all day, just don’t do anything that could be considered a workout. We’ll be doing as little as possible, here at the happy place, in honor of our favorite singing cousin's birthday; we’re just going to sit back, stir up some lemonade and toast her good health and many happy returns until the very bottom of our glass is reached. And then tonight, we’ll sit back in our lazy girl chairs and recall all the good times when she’s come over to play with us.

Here’s to the late night chats, the long walks, and most of all, here’s to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers…

A very happy newsy birthday to you!

Today’s to do list:

Wash walls,
Eat morning snack,
Count minnows,
Eat mid morning snack
Wash walls,
Eat pre lunch snack
Drive the four wheeler around
Eat lunch,
Check blog
Eat a post lunch snack (or kellogs it don’t matter)
Test the kayaks
Eat mid afternoon snack,
Wash walls
Break for tea time
Check blog
Eat a pre supper snack,
Wash walls,
Eat supper,
Measure the grass and look the lawn mowers over
Have an evening snack,
Watch American Idol
Have a bedtime snack.
Go to bed.

because nothing else comes to mind

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We found this (or "these things") in one of our vaccum cleaner bags. The oldest child had reported an unusaul amount of mouse interest in the vaccum cleaner last night while the middle child and the youngest child were out gallivanting; the favorite one eyed mutt had heroically spent a considerable amount of time gaurding the vaccum cleaner before he was obliged to go to his own home. So naturally today the youngest child felt obligated to investigate the vaccum cleaner bag, that both she, and the middle child, had indeed used yesterday. There were eleven squeakers plus their horrible mother, who ran away and left them as soon as she was discovered.

And words just cannot express how our morning has gone from there.

This weeks workout:

This workout is for our own benefit

Stopping the tears after last night’s tragic event on American Idol. We don’t know about you guys but we were all a little hurly-burly over Chris Daughtry being sent home. And since this is a house of mostly females, the general reaction on this melancholy event was dismay and hearty laments. Bringing the youngest child, who has a tender heart, closer to tears than she’s been in four years; while the middle child sniffed heartily and ran down stairs; and the oldest child proclaimed she would never vote again.

So our mission today for our workout is drying our eyes and stopping the rivers flowing out of them. To do this we will need a tremendous amount of will power and a truck load of Kleenex boxes, which by the way, we are expecting any day now thanks to a good friend of ours. We may also take the day off from…well whatever it is we usually do all day, to wallow in self-pity over the loss of our favorite American Idol this year. We just may have to watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers all day to help speed our recovery, it is after all a workout friendly movie. Or we may watch the new Pride and Prejudice just so we can complain about something other than American Idol for a change.

WOW, thats amazing!

You guys are all really good pretenders!

conspiring

Just pretend we’re not here today,













that’s what we’re doing…

Newsy's Littlest Fan...

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Well, we've burst some buttons off with pride here at the newsy news office. Can you blaime us though? We're on a onesy!

for our 201 post

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This post is lovingly dedicated to our long time camping companion who has past on.

May you rest in peace....and may we somehow find the courage to sleep in a tent in the middle of nowhere without you.

For our 200th post

In honor of our 200th post, we are going to give our fans a list of ways to tell if they are a hillbilly.

You might be a hillbilly if you can relate to any three of the following...

1. You live on a hill.
2. You actually know someone you can safely call "Billy".
3. You think cattails make a good story.
4. Your secret recipes call for iocaine powder.
5. When you wonder where your next meal is coming from its only because you haven't seen a squirrel in half an hour.
6. You have three daughters and two of them are like sons.
7. You knew the three S's before the three R's.
8. You don’t know that there are really only two R’s and one A.
9. You think you could be the next American Idol.
10. You think a sing along is when you go outside and harmonize with the coyotes.
11. You know someone who has seen a Sasquash.
12. You can't recall how old you are after running out of fingers and toes.
13. The thing that strikes you most in movies is when they’ve used new nails on old wood.
14. You can shoot the eye out of a shot gun shell at 20 yards, with hands as steady as a feather in the wind.
15. You’re the only one who responds to a fire and you’re not even on the department.
16. You joined the fire department just for the jacket, and now you're too lazy to quit.
17. When you’re called out on a fire you bring marshmallows and fun dogs in case it lasts thorough dinner.
18. Everyone else on the department is there for community service.
19. You’re self-employed but no one (including you) knows what you do.
20. There’s been a shortage of doors in your community because "them cops" keep bashing them in.
21. Your new closet is made out of your old porch.
22. Your new porch is bigger than your house.
23. You’ve added on to your storage shed but not your house.
24. When you help build your kids fort, it’s good enough for them to live in.
25. You cut the same board four times and it’s still too short; but use it anyway.
26. You know the difference between red neck and hillbilly.
27. You keep a dictionary by the toilet just in case you run out of paper.
28. You’ve decorated the walls of your outhouse.
29. You blame guests for the smell coming out of the outhouse.
30. You have more teeth than neighbors.
31. But you still don’t get it when someone says, "Teethbrush" instead of "toothbrush."’
32. The Red Green Show makes a lot of sense with usable logic.
33. When you hear someone's house has running water you think that means it was built on top of a spring.
34. You encourage your children to get lost in the woods.
35. You have a one-eyed mutt you can’t wait to call, "ol one eye".
36. You think its good sport to hide from your dog while on a walk.
37. Your dog has begun to hide on you when you take it for a walk.
38. Your five-year plan is still working just fine after 21 years.
39. All your clocks have a different time and none of them are right.
40. You use the sun but its wrong too.
41. You shower once a month whether you need to or not, and usually you don’t need to.
42. People come from all over every Sunday to see the renowned "changing of the flannel" day.

if you could relate to more than three call a doctor immediately.

For our favorite Air Force Cousin!

We’ve been wracking our brains trying to come up with a better birthday present than we gave you Last year. So you should know exactly how difficult this is for us; when we wrack our brains they don’t even rattle. But we’ve come up with a question for you on your birthday,

Do you think mobile phones evolved from mobile homes?

Well that’s all our brains could come up with at this early hour...but hey, its some improvement that we could come with anything at all right?


HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Question # 1.

What’s another word for cake?












Supper!

Hey! Its Mayday!

Happy Mayday to all our loyal fans! And we guess happy Mayday to those who are not so loyal. Isn’t it special that Mayday falls on Newsyday this year? We think that’s the best news we've had since the tire went flat on the blazer!

For our favorite brother on his birthday

Always remember favorite brother that a little hard work never hurt anyone...




But why take the chance?

This is why we love where we live

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Just so you'll believe us, this is a picture of our yearly April snowstorm. Our weather may be unpredictiable from day to day, but from year to year we can always depend on it.

The answer

True, as long as she has help or only does one bucket at a time…

True or False,

The middle child is capable of moving a 100 pound bag of corn?

According to Newsy

Our weather rock is wet; it’s such an accurate device. Wet means rain and it is indeed raining.

Pride and Prejudice,

And the verdict is…

Since we don’t really want to tell everyone that we hated the new Pride and Prejudice, we aren’t going to post a review of it. We just don’t want to offend everybody by saying that. So, we wont be boring you and offending you with our unbiased opinion in a review. And we most certainly will not be going on and on about how much we loath it as a Pride and Prejudice movie. Got that? Have a fabulous day!

Star Wars episode III is no longer at the bottom of our list.

A message from baby glow worm

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Baby glow worm would like to say Happy Easter to her favorite SD grandparents.

And also to her own favorite father who is, in reality, the favorite brother-in-law.

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We have nothing to add, as usual a picture of glow worm is better than 10 thousand of our words. We do like to play with her toys though.

Happy Easter from all of us to all of you.

Indecent?

"Youngest child, I don't think we're in Texas anymore!"

"No indeed, middle child"

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These are the newsy news field editors, in their most modest swimming suits, contempalting swimming off the last chunk of ice on the lake...

The popular saying

You know the saying, "Never count your turkeys before your chickens hatch"? We didn’t think so.


Have a nice day!

For our fans

Don’t mistake laziness with diligent and thoughtful thinking. Yes indeed, though we have seemed to be very neglectful of our favorite fans we were just trying to think of worthy names for them. And seriously, we only really needed all that other information for when Christmas comes around...we’re knitting socks for our most loyal fans...and in the meantime our birthday gifts for them are special names. We hope we don’t disappoint anyone. Here are the names we came up with for the few but proud newsy fans. They appear in code so we are not responsible for the lack of creativity.

Our favorite “I love Newsy” fan.
Our favorite attacking stack of jacks fan.
Our favorite cappuccino fan.
Our favorite fan in the van by the river.
Our favorite poor unfortunate Oklahoma fan.
Our favorite air force cousin…oh wait, he didn’t leave all that information on this blog.
And for the other fan that wanted it phrased in true or false form: true or false, When a person has an age, a weight, and a name they automatically have a shoe size. Think it over Lily Pad, and good luck.

"Where are they now?"

Where are we? Where are you?

Please leave your name, age, weight, and shoe size in the comment section so we can know that sort of stuff. Or better yet, just leave the state you live in and we'll try to figure out a newsy name for you.

But please don't hold it against us if we can't...the staff

This post is dedicated to Scrub Brush

"Busy, busy, dreadfully busy; much much too busy for you!"

deep thoughts

By Blueberry,

The sun rose up near dawn, above a white billowy cloud; and the windy wind began to blow. Blowing, blowing the dancing palm branches on the palm trees.

The story…

We are going to attempt writing another story…one sentence at a time, and after reading some really great stories we’ve compiled a list of all the things that should be in our story for it to be really grand.

A far off place, (Canada?)

A Prince…or a man named Mr. Darcy,

A woman in distress, who may or may not know it, yet capable of getting out but just to clumsy to do it.

A one eyed mutt to complicate matters,

An evil twin/step-mother/bad guy,

A couple of extra characters, perhaps two silly sister’s?

A mountain to climb,

Rivers infested with crocodiles and blood suckers,

A few sentences dedicated to extreme silliness; it is not necessary for these sentences to pertain to any part of the rest of the story. (this particle item wasn’t on the list of things other great stories had, we added this element so that our story can be truly grand!)

One awkward moment, naturally occurring when the clumsy woman in distress throws a bucket of water on the Prince because he’s so cocky; and she doesn’t know he has every right to be cocky because he is, after all, a Prince.

A conflict, be creative. Please be realistic and don’t try to force a conflict between the silly sister’s.

A climax,

Action,

A Duel…but try to remember we’re writing a child friendly story here. No bloody description of how the blade sliced neatly through the throat of the bad guy, or how when he grabbed his neck, the blood squirted through his fingers…nope, we don’t need any of those kinds of descriptions in our story…thanks.

A big black steed named "Tornado"

Or a white one named "Lightning"

A moment of great sensitivity….perhaps followed by one of those silly moments we recommended earlier.

Comedy, an extra character should step on a banana peal or something

Drama, at least one character should burst into uncontrollable, and insensible, tears every few sentences.

Alright, looking good! Get to it now! And once again, write only one sentence at a time and try not to comment twice in a row, at least comment as anonymous or Simon in between…but be good sports and let others play too. Have fun…

In her own words,

How the oldest child describes her baby’s looks,

"She looks like a cute little turtle that’s been sneezed out of its shell."

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Course, at the time she said that, she didn’t know we’d take it and blog about it.

For our favorite mother "Dear"

Because its your birthday,

Your silly daughters are going to be extra good girls. The youngest child will bake you a cake; the middle child will frost it. The favorite father will test the first bite; the oldest child will mash up your piece to make sure there are no special eggshells in it. The favorite brother will tease you; the favorite sister-in-law will be on your side. The favorite one eyed mutt will eat whatever part of the cake has the eggshell. The favorite brother-in-law will say happy birthday just as soon as the oldest child reminds him to. You can play with your food and have the last olive. But most importantly, the newsy staff will dedicate an entire blog to you, that all who read it may forever remember you’ve had your 14th 39th birthday.

Please don’t leave a comment, the favorite mother laughs heartiest when there are no comments on our blog.

A beautiful example of the art of name dropping…

Back in the day, when the silly sister’s were in college they took a curling class for one of their many PE classes.

It turned out to be one of the best classes they ever had to meet future important people in. There they met their future favorite sister-in-law and John Shuster. Yes indeed, it just so happens they were all often (at least once!) on the same team or, at least, curling against each other. And one time John was even the skip for the middle child and the youngest child. That’s right, the middle child had the great honor of being complimented on one her shots, while the youngest child had the very great privilege of being yelled at to sweep "HARD"…ah the Olympics bring back all those sweet memories!


Note: for those of you who are unaware, John Shuster was the lead on the Olympic men’s curling team who won the bronze medal this morning!!!

This weeks workout:

This workout comes highly recommended from a good friend of ours whom we adopted a while ago…

Walking around the block,
For best results do this outside.

Take a walk around the block…don’t go too fast and wear yourself out and don’t go too slow or you’ll freeze.

Now, if you’re like us, finding a block is the most difficult part of the workout. They’re not around ever corner out here if you know what we mean. And when the 911 people call and tell us there’s people stuck in the snow bank one block away we’re naturally unable to find them…but that’s another story…

So finding a block to walk around for this workout is our first, and now primary, goal. We recommend looking in a child’s room or nursery, but if there are no building blocks around, go outside and chop a small block off that annoying tree that’s still in the yard from Christmas.

Okay, now that we all have a block, set it down precisely in the center of your yard, and then precede to walk around the block. Don’t do it more than once though, unless you’re an advanced walker, you’ll need to work up to walking around the block more than once.

Always remember to workout with a friend…just in case you over do it they’ll be able to carry you back to the couch…you can pick up the block later.

What day?

?

For Web III

This is the farewell you were deprived of...

But really, as they always say,

"a picture is worth a thousand words"

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So you just may have gotten the better end of the deal!

Sincerely

The silly sister's

Olympics 2010!!!!

The Silly sisters are the new hope for team USA!

Olympics 2010
for the four man bobsledding team!

In their state of the art brand new modle bobsled...

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Now accepting applications for the last two positions. Spots are filling fast, apply immediately. Vigorous training has already begun, don’t lose anymore precious training time, apply now and join the team!

><>Team Newsy USA!<><

Also looking for sponsors....

Something to think about,

Special times of our days when we’re bored at shows…
1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55, 7:47, 10:10, 11:11, 12:12, 12:34. Seeing one of these times during the day is a special thing, but counting the minutes between one showing to the next borders on pathetic.

They’re daring, they’re crazy, they’re…eating spinach?

^^^^

This is the middle child’s daring attempt at eating spinach... notice the small dot on the left

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And this is the youngest child’s attempt at being more daring...

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Naturally they needed to doctor it up just a little bit,

Are they preparing for some type of Popeye event?

This weeks workout:

Warming up the house after a long absence.

Now this can be done two different ways, for the beginner, just turn up the heat and wait for it. If you have off peak heating, you may be waiting a long time, this is a good time to exercise your patience, but don’t overly exert yourself.

For the intermediate, refrain from turning up the heat, this will save you money so you wont have to work so hard at a real job and your workout will be much more satisfying at home. The first thing you’ll want to do is get the air circulating, this will bring the air that’s already warm down from the ceiling. The best way to circulate air is jumping jacks, but if that’s too much, just walk around flapping your arms, this will give the rest of the family their workout as they laugh heartily at you.

For the advanced workout, turn the heat down a little, and then run around in circles, jump up and down, flap your arms, and pretend you still know how to do summersaults. Continue those four things until you are thoroughly exhausted or feel like opening a window. We don’t recommend opening a window unless everyone in the house has been working out at the same level. But even then, opening the window would defeat the purpose of this workout and then you’d have to start all over again; and we don’t recommend doing the same workout twice. Unless it’s the getting out of bed one, or putting on a sweater, or swinging…okay, we recommend doing most of the workouts again, but remember, don’t ever do more than one a day.

Read one a day until done...

Here is everything we would be writing in the next two or something weeks if we could...please, do not attempt to read more than one day at a time...

Wednesday the first,
We were born under a wandering star...

Thursday the second,
Home is where the howard is.

Friday the third,
"You fired!" girl one with crooked finger.
"No! You fired!" girl two with snotty look.
"No, we’re fired!" both together with hysterical giggles.
Dreams dreams dreams, all dreams.

Saturday the fourth,
Yesterday, work was just a silly game to play. Now it seems as though it’s here to stay, oh we believe in Yesterday..."you fired!" seriously…

Sunday the fifth,
Go team! Go! What a stupid call ref! Here’s some more cream soda. TACKLE HIM! TACKLE HIM! Ahhhhh no! SAcK hiM sACk hIm! Go for the touch down! You idiot! Losers limp! You’re fired!

Monday the sixth,
Bummer, oh well, cheers to the winners, and two for the losers!

Tuesday the seventh,
The silly sisters are finally resigned to their ten-x-ten foot jail.

Wednesday the eighth,
The beginning of the end; it’s all down hill from here.

Thursday the ninth,
Everyday it’s a getting closer, coming faster than a roller coaster.

Friday the tenth,
The silly sisters decided that they don’t really want to leave, for it has not be an unhappy ten-x-ten feet...

Saturday the eleventh,
Mental break down...oh, that can be terribly misread. What we were trying to say is, the silly sisters mentally tore down the booth for Sunday.

Sunday the twelfth,
Let the pacing begin...or rather, continue for another hour.

Monday the thirteenth,
The beginning of the 24 hours.

Tuesday the fourteenth,
Pit stop in the cities for the youngest child and the favorite mothers dates. Happy S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day) day everyone! Hey, all singles, buy some chocolates for yourself, you’ll cease to regret the action after a few hours of indulgence.

Wednesday the fifteenth,
What? Is no one home to greet us? Why are not we ourselves at home? By george, this is an out rage! That’s 36 hours...and we dare not predict anymore...and you’re all a bunch of cheaters for reading this all at once. This was a test! And you’ve all read it too fast...well now you’ll just be bored here for the next um-teen days...but we have every confidence that you’ll all find sufficient reading material elsewhere in the meantime.

Little Glow Worm

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We were informed that glow worms light up when you squeeze them.

Unfortunatly, all this one does when she's squeezed is cry...which, thankfully, isn't very often.

This is actually a picture of a smile, and almost a giggle.

A question for the favorite brother (who does not read this blog)

Q. Why does electricity shock people?
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A. It doesn’t know how to conduct itself.

Baby sneezes…aren’t they cute?

chew…

he he he he he ah ha he he snort he he...giggle giggle.

The poor baby will be classically conditioned to laugh whenever someone sneezes as a result of her aunts laughing at her so often. Don’t even get us started on the hiccups. he he he he he ha hahahhahhhhaa snort...giggle smirk...snort cough... coo.

A horrible tragedy done to our hill,

Our sledding hill, of which we’ve bragged shamelessly about for three months, has been asalted with dirt and, well, salt!

During the course of this morning, that is, morning if you get up at 4am, our hill had the miss fortune of being too slippery for a van that was leaving. And rather than take that as a logical sign that the favorite brother-in-law should stay, dirt was tossed on the hill and the sleepy silly sisters were called to get their boots on. So now the icy hill has sun-attracting dirt all over it…sigh, just as the hill was getting good too! The laments being cried out by the middle child and the youngest child today are quite pathetic, the more so since there is no one home to hear them but the favorite one eyed mutt.

All parties in the next two weeks are now canceled, due to this rather tragic occurrence, until further snowtice.

What a doll!

Ahh...

oh, sorry, wrong picture…

Seriously though, there's nothing else for us to say

*****The darling baby’s here dear!*****

We have ourselves a Mondays child! After waiting all day and writing silly letters to occupy the time, the silly sister's have officially crossed the line and are now aunts! Bravo, welcome to the old aunts club.

But besides all that, we have been hard pressed to get a good description of her. For though we know she was born at 9:01pm, 21 inches long, 7 pounds 5.6 ounces, we really don’t know anything at all about it!

The odds are in her favor though since she is a Mondays child and therefore much better off already than a Wednesdays child or a Thursdays child.

Congratulations oldest child and favorite brother-in-law. We’ll brag more on her beauty once we see her for ourselves and know for sure…

Oh and if you want to know whether or not she’s a girl, leave a comment!

is it bait? Food?

No! Its "Little Mega Pixel Betta"!

And only a mouth full if you say his whole name.

He’s the favorite mother’s favorite pet minnow…or Betta if you prefer. Everyone was a little concerned with the youngest child’s praise of his beauty and the middle child’s preoccupation with him whenever she was eating. But once the oldest child had told the youngest child that he’d be expensive bait, the youngest child stopped admiring his colors. And the middle child has now resigned herself to the knowledge that he isn’t likely to grow big enough for a decent flay.

Happy Birthday Middle Child!

We are so tired after running all day yesterday that we are not going to post a happy birthday blog and dedicate it to the middle child.

…who would have thought so many irate fans would take offence over that…

At least the favorite mother laughed heartily.

This weeks workout is

Guessing who the sledded is!

We don’t want this mental workout to be too hard so we’ll give you four(4) clues.

1. its not the middle child,
2. its not the youngest child,
3. its not the oldest child,
4. its not the favorite father.
oh and here's a freebe, its not the favorite one eyed mutt.

Now, if you can’t guess who it is after those clues, perhaps you should practice a mental workout more often.

And the newsy news letter editors workout today will be running from all the fans who were offended by the above sentence.

The jump at the bottom

Someone sailing over the jump

You'll never guess who this hearty sledder is...

A very melancholy farewell…

"Athos—Porthos, farewell till we meet again! Aramis, adieu forever!" The Man in the Iron Mask. Alexandre Dumas

Our translation,

"Minnesota—Favorite family, farewell till we meet again! 2005, adieu forever!"

The newsy news staff…

A memory of spring

The following took place the day the first guests of the season arrived. Taken from the Newsy News Letter Log 23-5.

There was something wrong with the youngest child(we have it on good authority that it was from smellin turpentine and linseed oil all day). During tea time the youngest child said,
"I'm looking forward to these guests coming."
The silence, after the initial crash of all the spoons clattering to the table, was touchable. The youngest child blushed to the roots of her hair (turning it a pretty shade of red) over being so horribly misunderstood. Trying to fix the damage she'd just done to her reputation she added hastily,
"The bugs! Maybe they'll like these people better and leave me alone…"
No one really believed her so the tale was told with great spirit by the middle child for the rest of the weekend.

Here’s to turning over a new sled

Happy New Year to our loyal fans,

The New Year is like a new sled, it has no cracks in it.