Thursday, July 28, 2005

Every one needs 409!

This weeks work out for two:

For the beginner: Making a bed.
For the intermediate: Making two beds.
For the advanced: Making all the beds.

Now making beds may not be the most strenuous thing you can think of for exercise, but it is an art form that requires controlled movement and uses just about every muscle.

Using your hands palm side down gently pat the wrinkles out of the mattress pad.
Grab one corner of a bottom sheet with both hands and softly toss it up in the air, maintaining a tight grip on one corner at all times. The sheet should fluff up and billow out on its way down landing perfectly on top of the bed.
Next take a top sheet, (which should have been folded square) and repeat what you did with the bottom sheet. The top sheet should land, if you do it exactly how we tell you, perfectly on top of the bottom…never mind the rumples, you probably didn’t pat the mattress pad out just right.
Next the light blanket (or, for more advanced bed makers and colder weather, a heavy blanket) should be laid across the bed on top of the top sheet. Tuck in any extra blanket overhanging at the foot of the bed, be sure to square the corners….if you do not know how to square the corner, find some one who does immediately, do not proceed with the next steps until at least two corners of the bed have been squared.
Then the bed spread goes on. Now, this takes a little more precision, make sure it is centered on the bed so that the same over hangs on both sides. Make sure there is just enough on the bottom so that it hides the unsightly box spring and yet does not drag. All of the extra bedspread that can not be left at the bottom should be pulled to the top and folded back down.
Lay two pillows on top of the folded back bed spread.
Lay one pillowcase on each pillow.
Then fold the folded bed spread back up rolling the pillows with it until they are sitting nicely at the head of the bed under the bed spread.
Miraculously the pillowcases will put them selves on the pillow’s as they are being rolled in the bed spread.

Please don’t try all three levels on the same day.
Results not typical.
Do not try this at home...or at work.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

The workout of this week is:

We are going to do the Winnie the Pooh workout this week….at least what we think we remember of it.

Up, down,
Touch the ground,
In the mood for food,
Short, stout,
Round about,
In the mood for food.

Just keep saying that over and over and doing the actions all day…

Monday, July 18, 2005

Our motto:

As spoken by the middle child,

"We don’t share our snickers and we don’t swim with strangers…"

Thursday, July 14, 2005

This weeks workout…

Workout? It’s too hot to be working out! Go back to where you were sitting and take another break. Maybe later in the cool of evening you could take the dog for a w-a-l-k, but only if it cools way down and you feel like moving.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The vanity of man

We’ve been thinking with kind fondness of the vainest man we ever saw. It was in PA at the end of a long show that the youngest child had the pleasure of smiling at a vain man whom other girls had obviously smiled at before. The youngest child smiled, he looked into her eyes and scowled such a scowl that would make any other girl burst into uncontrollable tears. Not so the youngest child, at his scowl her grin broadened until she was giggling; then she told the middle child and they both laughed heartily. The rest of the show was spent with bouts of giggles as the memory reoccurred.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

We too shall laugh...later

Well, the favorite mother sure is getting her bouts of laughter…if you know what we mean…

Friday, July 08, 2005

The most difficult work out so far,

We have been camping for a while so bear with us as we try to redirect our errant thoughts back to working out on this fine Thursday morning. Just because we’ve been camping without a watch doesn’t mean we’ve lost all sense of time.

This weeks workout is…Laughing.

Now, this is no time for hee hee heeing…this is the time for full scale ha ha ha haing! For this workout to be effective you must use all the air that is in your lungs and you must make noise. If you are not laughing out loud, you are not doing it right. Make a Hyena like noise. If you feel a little self conscious about that, feel free to lock yourself in a closet or better yet go into a deep forest while doing it. But be careful about making wolf like noises if you are in the woods, just keep it to the ha ha’s as loud as you can and until all the air in your lungs is completely gone. This will strengthen stomach muscles as you force the last of your air out…this workout is not recommended as a solitary workout as passing out may occur when all the air has been expelled.

Don’t feel awkward about laughing with out a reason. Think of it this way, if you’re laughing at nothing, that’s funny so then you have something to laugh at…and something funny is happening somewhere in the world at every moment and we even dare say second…Is it your fault you’re not there?

Always remember, a laugh a day keeps the grumps away…

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Work clothes….

Specifically, work jeans.

Description of article being discussed: Holes in the knees and butt or pockets. Stains from paint, mud, grass or any other type of colorful ugliness. Fraying edges every where. Distinct fading from blue to gray all over.

You can buy yourself a nice new pair of old jeans at your local clothing store. However, if you would like a quality pair without the extra cost of buying it from a store, contact us and we can get you your very own pair for the cost of one hour hard labor and what ever jeans you are wearing. Serious enquiry’s only please…

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

This is not what you thought...

They had a thought,
But then they forgot,
So we’re convinced it was not,
A thought that they had thought.