For our 200th post

In honor of our 200th post, we are going to give our fans a list of ways to tell if they are a hillbilly.

You might be a hillbilly if you can relate to any three of the following...

1. You live on a hill.
2. You actually know someone you can safely call "Billy".
3. You think cattails make a good story.
4. Your secret recipes call for iocaine powder.
5. When you wonder where your next meal is coming from its only because you haven't seen a squirrel in half an hour.
6. You have three daughters and two of them are like sons.
7. You knew the three S's before the three R's.
8. You don’t know that there are really only two R’s and one A.
9. You think you could be the next American Idol.
10. You think a sing along is when you go outside and harmonize with the coyotes.
11. You know someone who has seen a Sasquash.
12. You can't recall how old you are after running out of fingers and toes.
13. The thing that strikes you most in movies is when they’ve used new nails on old wood.
14. You can shoot the eye out of a shot gun shell at 20 yards, with hands as steady as a feather in the wind.
15. You’re the only one who responds to a fire and you’re not even on the department.
16. You joined the fire department just for the jacket, and now you're too lazy to quit.
17. When you’re called out on a fire you bring marshmallows and fun dogs in case it lasts thorough dinner.
18. Everyone else on the department is there for community service.
19. You’re self-employed but no one (including you) knows what you do.
20. There’s been a shortage of doors in your community because "them cops" keep bashing them in.
21. Your new closet is made out of your old porch.
22. Your new porch is bigger than your house.
23. You’ve added on to your storage shed but not your house.
24. When you help build your kids fort, it’s good enough for them to live in.
25. You cut the same board four times and it’s still too short; but use it anyway.
26. You know the difference between red neck and hillbilly.
27. You keep a dictionary by the toilet just in case you run out of paper.
28. You’ve decorated the walls of your outhouse.
29. You blame guests for the smell coming out of the outhouse.
30. You have more teeth than neighbors.
31. But you still don’t get it when someone says, "Teethbrush" instead of "toothbrush."’
32. The Red Green Show makes a lot of sense with usable logic.
33. When you hear someone's house has running water you think that means it was built on top of a spring.
34. You encourage your children to get lost in the woods.
35. You have a one-eyed mutt you can’t wait to call, "ol one eye".
36. You think its good sport to hide from your dog while on a walk.
37. Your dog has begun to hide on you when you take it for a walk.
38. Your five-year plan is still working just fine after 21 years.
39. All your clocks have a different time and none of them are right.
40. You use the sun but its wrong too.
41. You shower once a month whether you need to or not, and usually you don’t need to.
42. People come from all over every Sunday to see the renowned "changing of the flannel" day.

if you could relate to more than three call a doctor immediately.