Thursday, December 20, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
The newsy news letter field staff assignment is to tinkle in every casino on the strip to criticize and critique them. This assignment will take a lot of dedication...and water.
Stay tuned for a tinkle by tinkle update.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
This is our house the next afternoon (which will be one year ago tomorrow). We had to stop at some detours our delightful designer planned for us...or rather, didn't plan at all about.
And so, as we sat around today on our 1 year aniversity, in our warm basement, we thought we’d see how far we’ve come...
The tailer trash have moved up in the world and now live in a nice little tar paper shack. Although we're inclined to believe this picture doesn't do our mothers shack justice, we leave it up to our friends to find out for themselves. Our doors are always open (while we're home at least), and on a good day its 66 degrees upstairs.
And to our friends who already know...the grins and giggles are on the house.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Until then, this is the newsy staff, already gone
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
We once said, "when inspiration hits, it always leaves a mark". Well, we’ve discovered something since then. Inspiration isn’t the only thing that leaves a mark, and the marks don’t always bring inspiration with it.
Like hammers for instance, they leave some very attractive and highly painful marks, but lack the benefit of inspiration.
Tractors also leave highly painful and enviable welts, but the inspiration acquired resembles the stupidity that rendered the welted unconscious.
Cement leaves a mark (it’s a knuckle buster business), and filled with so many grunts and groans as leaves room for little else to inspire.
Staplers are perhaps the most painful and leave the least rewarding mark…just a few weeks ago the favorite father discovered he should not hold an item in need of stapling when a child, that may be a little upset with him, is whacking away with a stapler. We laugh about it now, but that particular hit was so uninspiring it didn’t even make it into the letter, in-spite of the mark it left.
Scaffolds leave a mark (on shins of all things just by climbing up), and the climbing claims so much attention, there isn’t even time to greet each and every bruise as it appears.
All these things have left their marks, but it is unfortunate and perhaps natural, that all the joy is taken out of any inspiration we may have felt on the occasion. Perhaps the real reason we feel no inspiration is because usually all intelligent inspiration gets rattled right out of our brains in the process of it leaving its mark.
Until it hits again,
The newsy news letter staff
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The youngest child looked at the middle child in wide eyed bewilderment,
"I wasn’t talking to you."
And at the middle child’s raised eyebrows, and quick glance around a very empty booth that the youngest child was supposedly watching, the youngest child continued with an air of offended disgust,
"I was talking to myself, how dare you listen in on my private conversation!"
And the silly sister’s laughed heartily.
Monday, October 01, 2007
and this ones for little glow.
The silly sisters were playing dress up with the little glow worm here.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
When she runs to the bathroom to go potty, she does in fact know what she's going there to do, thats why she insists on shutting the door after pushing whoever was following her out.
She developed a very good learning system where instead of learning two names for two people she'd just apply the same name to as many people as possible. Thats why all older men are "Bumpa". She used to be able to say the middle childs name quite clearly, and naturally she used it for the youngest child as well. Until one day the youngest child taught her how to say "ll's" very well and ever since then, both the middle child and the youngest child are refered to(by the little glow worm) by the youngest childs name.
Little glow likes tractors. She likes to tell stories about tractors, "Bumpa! brumbrumbrum." and with that she makes a scoop with her hand to pick up imaginary dirt and she moves her hand over to an imaginary pile and drops the imaginary dirt making the imginary pile higher.
She thinks she can turn on the dinning room light just by rubbing her fingers together, this is the favorite brothers fault (he's an electician you know). She was even convinced that her kiss to someone elses fingers would transfere the lighting power.
She grew up in one night, while her mother was trying to put her to bed, little glow pointed to the door and said, "out" and she fell asleep on her own while her poor mother sat in a chair in the living room and wondered how it had happened so fast.
She wants everything, "Me.(pointing at her little chest) That!(pointing at whatever it is she desparatly wants)"
"Peas". could mean anything from "cheese" to "please". she calls real peas, "balls".
There is a scene in the new Pink Panther where the guy is learning to speak flawless english, every word he repeats has no simalarity to the original word until finnally at the end, all his english words sound the same. Well thats what teaching little glow worm new words is like, she does okay with the first word, but the second always sounds exactly like the first, untill finally all the words she's repeating sound something like the middle childs name.
she knows more than we know she knows.
Her first clear sentence was, "don't do that"(she must have heard that a lot, but we're not about to admit it)
She likes to spell her name, usually she just mubles it to her self, "g. o. r. i. l. g. o. a. i." until someone steps in and helps her a little with her ordering.
We miss our little glow.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
They beg us to report though, that they are quite certain, if they ever got a real job, they'd always be employee of the month...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
We, the newsy news staff, are at the MN State Fair serving a two week self imposed(in an involentary sort of ways) sentence. Please, everyone, stop by the Grand Stand and relieve our suffering...
Monday, August 20, 2007
Our latest edition, 2007 model baby has finally arrived at 5pm today, 2 weeks early, 6lbs 4oz. heavy, 19in. long, 6in. wide, 0 teeth, black hair, 8 fingers, 2 thumbs, 10 toes, and remains nameless as of 5:30. But he's already a lucky little guy, he was the 10,000 hit on our sight counter! He gets 1000 newsy points to spend at any newsy store as soon as he's old enough to count that high.
When we asked the favorite brother if he was cute, the answer was, with great confidence, "oh yeah."
We did manage to get a photo, not of the baby, we haven't seen him yet, but its of a onesy he'll wear someday. We thought everyone would like to see this first picture...
Friday, August 10, 2007
Eat at The Pizza Mill.
We reserve the right to write and, or, rewrite any and all advertisements we post. we also reserve the right to not post advertisments we have had to rewrite. Any advertisments we have not writen will not appear on this blog, any advertisment that has not been prepaid will not appear on this blog, any advertisment that lacks a humoris eliment will not appear on this blog, any advertisment we have had to write will not appear on this blog, any advertisment that we don't like will not appear on this blog...
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Well, in honor of that great moment of brilliance, the favorite Brainerd Grandparents little fishies decided to recreate that scene. And much to the middle child’s surprise (she was the unknowing accomplice who put them in the bags) they were very capable of rolling their bags where ever they chose to go.
Monday, July 30, 2007
It’s a long trip alone: especially through Indiana
My red high heels: Any and every state between Nevada and Minnesota.
Someday baby: Kentucky anyone?
What I’m doing these days: must be a southern Indiana thing
Shot through the heart: and straight to Blake
Its just another manic Monday: in the walls of our sheet rock…
Tear drops on my guitar: 10pm "out at the wood pile"
It was a different time, when we were boys and girls: every time we come home from the dump, sob
If your going through hell, keep on going: the little flying J store at the Illinois-Wisconsin border.
I’m gonna sit right here and have another beer in Mexico: that’s right, Texas
They say we’re crazy, what do they know: The top floor keeps telling the basement that.
This love has taken lift off: some where between Texas and Kentucky
Best times we’ll never remember: we don’t really recall.
Summer Time: Pennsylvania in January and February
My shadows the only one that walks beside me: going to the movies
Fly away, over the mountains, over the mountains: Eau Claire Wisconsin in the middle of the night.
and we've traveled far today
Friday, July 20, 2007
If we had the eliquence, we would tell everyone how his darling wife was there to run into his arms the moment he set eyes on her. We would tell everyone how, with him wearing his nice crisp uniform, and her wearing an eligant yellow dress they looked so much like a fifities war movie that the local news camera crew couldn't stop taking footage of their...ah, church kiss. We would tell everyone how his child looked on in wide eyed wonder over a stranger stealing kisses from her mother. We would tell everyone how his perfect little glow worm took to him right away and began telling him tall tales about the one eyed mutts wild adventures, which went something like, "Deeciee! NO! NO! No! No! No!...eeeh eee eee eee."
If we could, we would have just posted the picture of their reunion....but thats not possible at this time. Later perhaps...
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
But we did hang the favorite mothers cabinets...and the newsy news birthday/cattail party had the best turnout yet!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Unfortunately, due to the new high rises going up all over and in consequence of the civilization, power lines, our disc golf game will have to be played while running wild through the forests, its only one hole: Par-103…be careful of the sand pit and the two ponds, mamas pond and lost pond…that is if anyone is unfortunate enough to find the second one….if you do happen to find the seconded one, chances are pretty good you’re lost…at that point you’ll just want to take the stroke and forget the disc golf. Take a solid right at that unfortunate lost pond…you may not think it’s a pond, but if your feet start to get wet, you’ve found the lost pond, and you’re lost. But if you take a right, that will lead you to…well we don’t rightly know, the silly sister’s just kind of bowl their way through when they hit the lost pond. If it happens to be cloudy, you might as well just sit down and cry, of course, as this will be a newsy party, just do what ever it is the silly sister’s are doing…chances are though, if its cloudy, they’ll be sitting down and crying….well maybe not right away, but when it starts to get dark they will be…
Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes the newsy news cattail party! Everyone’s invited…we have a full agenda planned and an empty guest list. It seems our reputation proceeds us and last years party was the bomb… or whatever. But its a little disheartening to us that the favorite parents crew decided they couldn’t be paid to attend…not even for the snack times. Oh well, the youngest child will be making her famous eggshell cake as usual so please come eat it…
5:55am: A very fast breakfast
6am: The usual sunrise kayak ride,
6:33: 2nd breakfast
At 7: the usual walk the dog game.
7:30: 3rd Breakfast
Starting at 8: Tours of the house begin.
8:15, 8:30, 8:45: Snack time every fifteen minutes
At 9: A showing of the hammers and staplers that have been the woes of the silly sister’s fingers at which point both silly sister’s will beat the hammers and the staplers until they feel better.
10: snack time
11: The grand game of mowing all the lawn in the shape of croquet!!
12: Lunch…probably hot dogs.
1pm: Snack time
2pm: Game of croquet, Newsy vrs not Newsy(or is everyone supposed to be on their own teams? Well, we’ll just make it up as we go along...like usual)
3pm: Snack Time
4pm: the forest game of disc golf
5pm: eat snack…if lost eat what ever looks good….but no eating the one eyed…never mind.
6pm: Remain calm.
7pm: Favorite parents will not be worried yet.
8pm: Remain calm
9pm: try thinking of ways to build a shelter.
10pm: Favorite parents will wonder, in passing as they go to bed, where everyone is.
10:30: Remain calm.
10:45: the silly sister’s cry for mamma and because their tummies are hungry.
11pm: The silly sister’s will no doubt have cried everyone to sleep at this point.
And thats the plan for the longest most wonderful newsy birthday/cattail party ever!!!!
Monday, June 18, 2007
<><> Oops, wrong picture, but thats little glow smiling happily!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Each pile is about 5ft high
Sunday, May 27, 2007
*Poor little tender tush and her noble chauffer, who have learned the beauty of the saying “3 steps back 1 step forward”…perhaps that’s not quite how it goes…but so it goes for them.
*Blueberry and Mushroom who have much to say about the weather rock and reportedly suffer greatly from deep thoughts.
*The silly sisters who have gallantly suffered finger-smashing hammers, which, much to their dismay, don’t always leave a mark.
*The middle child and the youngest child, who have lived through (without tears) staples that do, in fact, go into fingers…and get stuck.
*The demolition child and her accomplice wrecker, who heroically dodge all evil attempts that gravity pulls to toss them from their precarious and rather awkward ladder’s.
*Clumsy and dumbsy who suffer greatly from (but with only mild complaining and wailing) hook blades and evil tractors.
All this our heroic field team gallantly brave and more…for something to blog about.
So the big question we here at the newsy offices have for our dear field editors is, WHERE ARE THE STORIES??
And if any of you dare blame it on that poor one eyed mutt…
Saturday, May 26, 2007
First and foremost we’d like to state that we were heartily dismayed over the ending. And of course we waited for the after credits stuff. The state of our melancholy was so intense after we left the theater, we didn’t even notice that we waited over half an hour at Lowe’s for someone to take our sheet rock out of the van when we were fully capable of doing it ourselves in half the time…or at least 2/3 of the time…or possibly 9/10 of the time…well at least we wouldn’t have been staring into the abyss for the half hour; it could have served to keep our blubbering brains busy for at least 45 minutes…but we get lazy when our poor sentimental hearts are all aflutter. Our poor little tender minds still can’t bare to think about the…but we don’t want to ruin it for anyone…perhaps if we had been prepared for disappointment we wouldn’t have been so disappointed.
At least they were…first. Which is highly un-Hollywood like. But really, the ending is too Superman/Starwars/ish…with the wonderful exception that they were...and publicly…kind of...how about an original ending for a change though…or something more predictable? Wouldn’t that have been nice? He didn’t have to…and what a twit! The only theme carried through all three movies is Miss Swan this, and Miss Swan that…other than that we couldn’t follow the…but what girl could when Orlando Bloom is actually acting and not just being pretty?…perhaps it wasn’t so bad…we still think Will should have…yes indeed he should have.
don't even get us started on Jack...
Oh look at the time!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
When I'm happy I will giggle and I never ever frown.
I'm your freindly easter bunny, I've come to town to day, with a basket full of candy and a lot of games to play..."
Thank you little glow, for loving to push buttons, and for holding onto the bunnies ears while he's happy.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Proof that, "The youngest child, the middle child and the twins were here" unfortunatly, the children weren't allowed to leave it uncovered, so no one will ever be able to see this fine peice of art in person.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
B is for baby Bambi being bitten
C is for crazy cousins camping
D is for drowning dusty donuts
E is for Effluvium
F is for favorite flattery food
G is for going gallivanting! Good gravy
H is for happy humble hermit homes
I is for ignorant ink igloos
J is for joining jobs just joking
K is for kindly kidding kids
L is for lousy losing lynx
M is for my most memorable memory moments!
N is for nosy newsy news
O is for only out of order
P is for pretty pink ponies playing
Q is for quiet quaint quarterbacks
R is for romantic rivers rhyming
S is for silly sister’s sadly saying something stupid
T is for tis totally tuesyday tonight
U if for unfortunately unwillingly unable…understand?
V is for Villain voter! Victory vanity!!
W is for water warthogs wailing wildly
X is for Xerxes Xylophone
Y is for yucky young yaks
Z is for zesty zilch zigzags
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Yes indeed, we lath pretty hard about it now.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Instead of saying something very silly, we’ll be saying something sweet and beautiful, or perhaps mildly inspiring….well, at the very least, we’re aiming for something different …in honor of the first day of spring remember…nothing else could make us do it.
The fields and the blue belles, sure are looking bright and beautiful compared to the hideous, mud infested snowbanks…sob.
In the war for spring, we’re not going to say which state we prefer…
We’re going home…someday.
Here's to frozen water!!!!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
A nice room in a gated comunity,
Three meals a day
Instant fame (The object of every tourist's photo shoot)
Possiblility for advancment (hey, if the elephant can transfer to Wisconsin, a human could transfer to Hawaii)
Where do we sign?
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Singles Awareness day everyone!! Or at least to everyone who is in fact single, everyone else can just take an expensive hike…
If no one happens to show up to our little formal pity party (which is a very real possibility since we didn’t in fact invite anyone), we’ll put on our PJ’s, crawl back into bed and watch the 6+ hours of Anne Of Green Gables while we toast our good friend the Italian Angel …if you know what we mean…lets just say the oldest child has been looking forward to toasting our Italian Angel for a very long month. She’s hoping our pity party will be very pitiful and therefore all the better as a pity party.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
From: "Questions we're glad no one ever asks us"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....ha.....ha.......ha.....ha...........h....a....hmmm. Sorry.
It was no one we know.
It was a joke...
he didn't even buy a wallet...
Come on!!! What else was there to do? We were bored...
Hey! He asked!Its not like we were just telling anyone at random.
Humor, its a difficult concept.
Monday, February 05, 2007
"This bed ain't big enough for the two of us."
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
A - Available or taken? Good question, but we aren’t authorized to speak for each other.
B - Best friend(s)? Indeed, we are.
C- Cake or pie? Stupid question, they’re both sweet.
D - Drink of choice? Scotch and water without the scotch…or Rye Whiskey, duh…um, Milk?
E - Essential item you use every day? Toilet and paper.
F - Favorite color? Blue and Gray
G - Gummy bears or worms? They’re both sweet.
H - Hometown? Here
I - Indulgence? Our blog spot
J - January or February? Both have some good B-days in them, but we think Valentines day stinks or as we like to call it, Singles Awareness day, but we have had some pretty good pity parties.
K - Kids and names? Someday. Smith, Westin, Remington, Colt, Ruger, Walter PPK, Buck, Beretta,
L - Life is incomplete without? God.
M - Marriage date? Oh, we get it! It’s a wedding invatation!
N - Number of siblings? We each have 3 siblings, two sisters and a favorite brother.
O - Oranges or apples? Stupid question, next
P - Phobias or fears? One of us is afraid of snakes, the other is afraid of windows close to the ground.
Q - Favorite quote? “Our pets heads are falling off!!!” “Must be unlisted” “Indeed” “We may as well as not” “Take every opportunity to enjoy yourselves” and our favorite, “Pivot!!! Pivot” very dangerous.
R - Reason to smile? We smile because you don’t know why we’re smiling, ha ha ha.
S - Season? Fall for hunting, winter for sledding and summer for swimming. Lets just cut spring out all together, its dirty.
T - Tag three or four people. Mushroom, Blueberry, Lillypad.
U - Unknown fact about me? there's two of us.
V - Vegetable you don't like? Eggplant
W - Worst habit? Vagueness
X - X-rays? teeth, and everyday by the sun…
Y - Your favorite food? Sugar
Z - Zany or Zealous? we'll leave it up to you to determine.
Monday, January 29, 2007
We went to a cattle show called the North American International Livestock Exposition. That’s the place to have a cow judged if you want to be anything in the cow world. The first time we watched the dairy cows get judged we felt a little disgusted. Not at how the cows are judged, but how closely it resembles a beauty pageant. The cows are primped and combed, clipped and blown, painted and hair sprayed. Someone even walks behind the cow with a paper towel to wipe its bottom whenever it has an attack of nature. Then someone (usually an FFA kid) parades the cow, along with a bunch of other cows, around in a circle while a judge walks around all the cows and judges them on their carriage, their disposition, their udders, how they walk with full udders, their legs, how straight their back is, their gait, awkwardness and other things. Then the judge picks the one cow that best displays the requirements of a good breeding cow and suddenly that cow’s babies are worth a lot of money.
So we learned why cows are judged, and that it's beneficial. But what does it benefit anyone that some girl is judged to be Miss America? What has a Miss America ever done for us? Certainly not world peace, for “there is no peace for the wicked” and there’s a lot of wicked people in this world.
What does Miss America do for us? Maybe we’re just ignorant, but we don’t know; but we can tell you what a cow does for us, “Milk” “Steak” “Milk” “Steak”.
And one more thing before we go…
“Do you have any milk to go with that steak?”
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
While looking through a very good variety of twisty tails (in the right color for MN) a man and his boy happened to be standing near by (and in the way). Looking up from his deep concentration of tackle the man did a double look at seeing two girls surveying the fishing tackle (obviously not a common occurrence in his state). Instantly sizing up the girly looking girls he said with too much confidence.
“You don’t fish…do you?”
The middle child nodded without actually giving him the time of day and moved on completely unfazed by the stupidity of it all. However, the youngest child, highly offended by his audacity, said with great pride (and a bright smile of course).
“You do?” Came the shocked, and very annoying, reply.
The youngest child was even more offended but tried to control herself as she answered with great sarcasm and a look of surprise.
“Ahh?…Yeah!” Then she smiled happily and moved away feeling slightly guilty for being rude(which, when read right, is exactly what she was).
Do they fish? The very nerve! We tell ya! Some people!!!…not exactly the kind of guy who would bring a seat over for a girl who was standing through a hunting lecture. Oh, but then, there are those who do.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
One year, its not so long ago, and another year isn't so far away.
We here at the newsy news office never realized exactly how one year could change a person until we watched that mere mewling infant with a little chin, who had nighmares of baths, become a jibber jabbering, heart twisting, fearless, social, wide eyed, always learning, into everything, adorable little imp. Indeed, how much we've changed.
Happy Birthday Little Glow!