Wednesday, August 31, 2005

No title

Until the middle child and the youngest child can each form an original thought on their own, they will not be allowed to play together.

The Newsy News Staff

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Enough of the domestic stuff!

The longer the favorite parents are away, the more knives get put on the middle child and youngest child’s belts. These belts are no longer able to hold up the pants. In fact, suspenders are now needed to hold up the belts.

Monday, August 29, 2005

How to make blueberry muffins,

Take package out of the box and follow the directions. For best results, do not allow the youngest child to crack the eggs or help at all for that matter.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

"we ate some cookies"

"…and then we went to the pond but the flowers are all nasty odd petaled little thing because the fish aren’t biting and the rocks aren’t flat on all sides so the vacuum cleaner kept rolling over and it was so annoying pulling it around like a dumb dog when the paddle boat got swamped in the waves mother laughed father shook his head because there was no comment so we decided to go back to bed again…"

Our conclusion on the matter above, "It is good to nap on occasion."

Friday, August 26, 2005

Oh boy, here’s another one we forgot.

This blog post is dedicated to one of our reoccurring friends whose golden birthday was last Friday, we don’t claim to always remember, but we sure can claim to always forget.

We have decided here at the newsy office that if we bought gifts for everyone’s birthday, instead of just dedicate this thoughtful blog to them, our piggy banks would be empty instead of just our heads.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

This weeks ultra workout.

This week we are giving you a choice for your workout. You can either follow the middle child around all day for your workout or you can follow the youngest child.

If you choose to follow the middle child, who answers the phone and checks on the youngest child all day, we feel we must warn you that she has a cold and makes frequent trips to the bathroom to blow her nose. She also sits down on the couch to rest for a while whenever she passes it.

On the other hand, the youngest child runs around in circles for a while before tossing a few rocks and then she thinks, about mowing lawn, for the rest of the day. However, she also makes frequent trips to the refrigerator for snacks and takes many coffee breaks with lots cookies.

Both the middle child and the youngest child offer great workouts if you can some how mange to avoid the middle child’s couch rest and the youngest child’s snacks…

The choice is yours, and on second thought, in light of the mental workout making that decision would give you, we think you’ve already worked out quite enough for the day…take the rest of the day off and have a cookie on the couch.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

For our favorite cousin whose birthday is today.

We bet you thought we forgot about your birthday! HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha…like we could forget! ha ha ha ha ha hmm…hee...scary how well you know us.

Oh well, here’s to another year of camping, hiking, canoeing and doing all the silly little things we like to do. And just for your birthday we posted twice today...

For the oldest child

This is an explanation to what may have been unclear in the newsy news letter. We hope it helps clear somethings up. But since we only had one complaint about the vagueness of our discription of our friends, perhaps this is not needed at all...oh well here it is anyway.

The middle child and the youngest child had hot chocolate so thick the spoons stood straight up. Now you might be wondering why anyone would make hot chocolate so thick that even a sugar loving tongue threatens to push it back out, but remember, this is the middle child and youngest child we are talking about. Their reason for such torture is very justifiable in a twisted way. They were pretending they were each other’s friend. So each one had a friend over which equaled two friends and then with the middle child and the youngest child all together they were four. Naturally four people would drink four cups of hot chocolate. They skipped the two extra cups of water and went straight for the extra chocolate. By the time the favorite parents came home the middle child and the youngest child were suffering greatly from their happy time as each others friend.

Monday, August 22, 2005

The most important question so far!

Seriously, what is the main difference between a cheeseburger and a hamburger?

Now, take your time answering this, the answer may not be as obvious as you think.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

As we were saying...

Because we are not sure of the delicate constitutions of the people who read this blog, we are not going to say what we wanted to say today. Just let it rest. Have a good one anyway.


the poor little middle child and youngest child, who were left home again.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

This weeks workout.

The eye workout.

First open your eyes, blink twice, hold them open, wider, wider, hold, hold, a little bit longer, ok now you can blink again.

Repeat as often as you want.

Monday, August 15, 2005

How do you like them onions?

That’s right! Our onions are beginning to grow! Unfortunately it’s the ones in the nylons that are growing and not the ones in the ground. Funny how the green hairy growth coming out of the nylons looks just like certain other legs we know.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

The Great debate

What does a mud ball, a flower, and the middle child all have in common?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Virus warning,

Warning for all singles:

There is a nasty virus going around. All singles please use extreme caution in venturing out doors. Wear old ugly stinky cloths, as this seems to be the best defense against this nasty virus. The virus seems to break out mostly on weekends. Apparently, last weekend, the virus was at the highest peak its ever been at. Our very own favorite air force cousin was struck with this virus. And there are two other known cases in the surrounding area, quite possibly more. There seem to be no limits to who it may stike. We cannot stress enough the necessity of using every precaution against this virus that is so disrupting to our social circle. We are so sorry we were not more prompt with this breaking information of the virus of matrimony. Consider yourself warned and take care.

And congratulations to those who already have the virus...we guess.

Monday, August 08, 2005

One for the experts

Dear fishing expert,

How can I keep my tackle box from smelling like French fries?

Honest Enquiry

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Welcome Home! And happy workout!

Sing this song all day long for your workout in honor of our favorite Air Force Cousin…who is coming home for a little while.

Note: this is a cousin’s version of the song, When Johnny Comes Marching Home.
attributed to Patrick S. Gilmore, 1863; some words have been changed by the silly cousins 2005.

When Johnny comes flying home again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give him a hearty welcome then
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The family will cheer and the cousins will shout
That one girl she will come running out
And we'll all feel gay,
When Johnny comes flying home.

The old church bell will peal with joy
Hurrah! Hurrah!
To welcome home our darling boy
Hurrah! Hurrah!
What silly cousins they will say
With giggles we will have our day,
And we'll all feel gay
When Johnny comes driving home.

Get ready for the Jubilee,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give our cousin three times three,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The silent woods are ready now
To be the stage of his grandest bow
And we'll all feel gay
When Johnny comes hiking home.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

We are sorry

There is no way to say this gently so we’ll just come right out with it. It has been officially brought to our attention that our happy place is not Camelot…we realize this comes as a shock and please understand that we do not come to this conclusion easily. Our suspicions for believing our selves previously deceived all started yesterday when a slight wetness began to fall from the sky. Simple wetness falling from the sky is generally not enough for us to change our grand opinion of our happy place. But alas, this morning after the dawn we woke up to more of it confirming our worst fears. Since it no longer only rains here after sunset, we are convinced we no longer live in Camelot. We hope this doesn’t change the opinion of the masses too much in ill favor.

We do apologize for being so thoroughly mistaken. Now we merely consider our happy place as the hot uncomfortable place Hawaii.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

A disturbing affair

Along the Echo trail one of the most common sights is the aluminum cans scattered hither and yon. An amazing amount of these cans are beer cans. There is one every two miles leading us to believe they are being thrown out as soon as they are emptied. Our rather natural, and yet scary, conclusion on the matter is people are drinking and driving while on our road!

And perhaps of more importance is the fact that there are parties going on (and on our road) that we are not invited to.