Monday, April 18, 2005
Once upon a time, in the middle of a big forest.....
Gather round fans, its story time. Only this is a very special story, no, its not about Simon. We are going to write a story one line at a time. When we say "we", we mean you, our fans. The rules are you can only write one sentence per comment spot. No real names should be used, make up something interesting. Please help us finish this story, we here at the newsy news letter offices will sit in suspense until it ends happily. When it is all finished the staff is going to submit it into the favorite story awards; if we win you can all have a chocolate on us.
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there were two hermits who got lost.
The only reason these clever hermits where lost, is, someone forgot to but new batteries in the new GPS they just bought.
"It takes batteries?" The younger hermit asked the other in dismay.
"I thought it was a solar powered thingy." The older hermit replied unhelpfully.
They figured if they followed the creek, it could lead them back to camp.
They soon grew hungry and found some berries.
"Well, arn't you the fish calling the minnow scaly?"
After catching the fish the pulled out there portible dvd player to watch "Sarah and Holly's Camping Video" so they could see how to clean and cook the fish over a small campfire
After a meal of yummy crappies the 2 hermits settled down to watch their favorite dvd, "the best of red green"
"Why yes, yes it is," says the older hermit.
"Whatch more Red Green, I guess." said the older hermit.
A little squrrel suddenly appeared and started chattering; the older wiser hermit translated it into this "why don't you look up a map on the internet and get out of my forest?"
The older hermit said "dude, you have wy-fi in your squirl nest?
The squirrel replied, as he was pulling a small satellite internet connection do hickey from his techno bag of tricks, "of course I have wi-fi...Do you think that just because I live in a tree I'm a red-neck?"
"hmmmm...."said the hermits as they walked into the squirel den, "by any chance, did you happen to eat some of those gassey berries?"
"Boy, did I!" chattered the sqirrel, "I ate so much of them I needed to drink a nice cold Coke (or is it an ice cold Coke)."
"Hey that's not Dr. Pepper", said the squirel, "it's....
". . . . bottled puke. I want the real soda. Give me Coke. I don't want to get angry . . . you won't like me when I'm angry!" So the older hermit said "Oh yeah?!?" and proceded to shoot the sqirrel with a 12 gauge.
So the squirrel died and not longer had any gas problems.
Kranny- you cheated, you're only supposed to use one sentance at a time!
I only half cheated. I finished your sentence and added mine.
"How could you do that?!" cried the younger hermit.
"I just used my triger finger; besides he was stinky." The older hermit said logically.
"Now we have a hermitage to live in...er...once we've aired it out; we don't ever need to leave the forest again!" The older hermit added over the younger ones sobs.
"Suck it up you baby and gather the putrid meat for dinner . . . unless you'd prefer to have shoes. And while you're at it find me a nice cold Coke and a monkey or I'll turn the 12-gauge on you." shrieked the older- and thusly- more aggresive bum.
The younger hermit decided he didn't want to be a hermit anymore but rather a handsome prince and thus started making himself available to reach his lofty goal.
SO the older hermit waited until late at night, and wondered off into the night in search of a female frog to kiss.
sadly, no babes were available to be searched for at the time. So he said, " dude, can I have your tots?"
"No way! Get your own tots," said Napoleon Dynamite-who magically showed up in the woods; the older hermit then proceeded to turn the 12 gauge on Napoleon and asked again.
Suddenly, Pedro showed up and everyone was in awe of his wicked awesome mustache; the older hermit was so caught up in the 'stache that he dropped the shotgun and shot himself in the spleen.
While all this was going on...the lack of babes,the lack of tots, Napoleon, the stash....the younger hermit was sitting, waiting anxiously by the pond when suddenly
A lady who looked and sounded like a frog showed up and sang him a song to attract the lovely ladies. . . . unfortunatly it only attracted vultures . . . they devoured everyone but the Littlest hermit.
The little hermit then sat contemplating his sad, sad lonely life, when I female hermit investigator came to check out the horrible deaths surrounding the hermit.
after completing the investigation it was found that vultures only eat frogs, and the Hermits, who were all thought to be dead were actually seeking solace in a cave.
So the littlest hermit and the investigating hermit fell in love, got married, and had so many children they had to start thier own community. They could no longer be know as "Hermits," but they lived happily ever after anyway.
THE END
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