Misson....failed

No, its not that our tinkle queens lacked the ah, motivation to accomplish their goal...its just that, well, due to the ah, how shall we put it...gambling habits of the two silly sister (or lack there of) the newsy feild editors didn't get past Circus Circus.

Goals of the tinkle queens

Its good to have goals. Especially for field editors.

The newsy news letter field staff assignment is to tinkle in every casino on the strip to criticize and critique them. This assignment will take a lot of dedication...and water.

Stay tuned for a tinkle by tinkle update.

between brown earth and bright lights...

we preffer the brown earth of the desert...


but it will never truly be perfect until we've crossed it on a horse with no name.

our top four things we're Thankful for

The first two are a tie...

actually, there is no order at all to any of them

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1. Little glow worm...

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2. Little Cricket



3. Snow, even when it ruins perfectly good ice.



4. And as always, we are very Thankful we're not turkeys...

1 year ago today

Our house arrived in little pieces...okay not little, but in pieces. It took all day to unload the semi trailer and count the pieces. There are four pieces in this picture, each piece has a number(1, 2, 3, 4). And unlike reading, they go up from right to left, or at least it did for us, it all depends on which side of the wall you work from, we chose the inside so everything would go completly backwards for us.

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This is our house the next afternoon (which will be one year ago tomorrow). We had to stop at some detours our delightful designer planned for us...or rather, didn't plan at all about.

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And so, as we sat around today on our 1 year aniversity, in our warm basement, we thought we’d see how far we’ve come...

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The tailer trash have moved up in the world and now live in a nice little tar paper shack. Although we're inclined to believe this picture doesn't do our mothers shack justice, we leave it up to our friends to find out for themselves. Our doors are always open (while we're home at least), and on a good day its 66 degrees upstairs.

And to our friends who already know...the grins and giggles are on the house.

Past farewell, farewell, oh well.

Thats right. We're already gone. There is no possible way we have time to put up another post after we've already gone. So don't expect it, we're already gone and there is no need to check this blog right now. Nothing has changed, and nothing is going to change, your stuck with that last uninspiring post...which, if we do say so ourselves, is much better than the other uninspired posts that did not get posted. That would probably reasure both of our readers if we had had the time to post before we left. But as we've so eliquently said before in this unwritten blog, we're already gone, the dust has already settled, the coffee is cold in the cups. But don't worry your poor little heart out, you'll be able to find us where ever we are. We're making a trail south east where the silly sister's will have to go there separate ways, one shall remain at the derby (to see who "also ran..."), the other will treck onward to wide open spaces.



Until then, this is the newsy staff, already gone

The greatest discovery of our time

And no, nothing better (that words can express) has come of our time than this.

We once said, "when inspiration hits, it always leaves a mark". Well, we’ve discovered something since then. Inspiration isn’t the only thing that leaves a mark, and the marks don’t always bring inspiration with it.

Like hammers for instance, they leave some very attractive and highly painful marks, but lack the benefit of inspiration.

Tractors also leave highly painful and enviable welts, but the inspiration acquired resembles the stupidity that rendered the welted unconscious.

Cement leaves a mark (it’s a knuckle buster business), and filled with so many grunts and groans as leaves room for little else to inspire.

Staplers are perhaps the most painful and leave the least rewarding mark…just a few weeks ago the favorite father discovered he should not hold an item in need of stapling when a child, that may be a little upset with him, is whacking away with a stapler. We laugh about it now, but that particular hit was so uninspiring it didn’t even make it into the letter, in-spite of the mark it left.

Scaffolds leave a mark (on shins of all things just by climbing up), and the climbing claims so much attention, there isn’t even time to greet each and every bruise as it appears.

All these things have left their marks, but it is unfortunate and perhaps natural, that all the joy is taken out of any inspiration we may have felt on the occasion. Perhaps the real reason we feel no inspiration is because usually all intelligent inspiration gets rattled right out of our brains in the process of it leaving its mark.

Until it hits again,

Sincerely,

The newsy news letter staff

Why the phone rang and rang

While the favorite parents were off gallivanting

and supposidly buying this questionable looking fish house

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The silly sister's were building this nice little cement slab to put it on

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Yeah right!

How is anyone supposed to know,

without witnesses,

that two very silly sister's mixed and poured a 4 by 8 cement slab?

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these things just happen

"Stop talking to me, I’m reading!"" the middle child exclaimed in annoyance at the chattering youngest child.
The youngest child looked at the middle child in wide eyed bewilderment,
"I wasn’t talking to you."
And at the middle child’s raised eyebrows, and quick glance around a very empty booth that the youngest child was supposedly watching, the youngest child continued with an air of offended disgust,
"I was talking to myself, how dare you listen in on my private conversation!"




And the silly sister’s laughed heartily.

here's to the little children of our lives

We have yet to give a newsy name to the newest newsy fan.

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Clearly he's a little concerend about it. In this picture, he had just learned that "Squeaky" was a name in the running.

Also another sneaky picture of the inside of the house...no, nothing has change lately. Except for the baby of course...oh, and the silly sister's arent't standing there anymore either.

and this ones for little glow.
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The silly sisters were playing dress up with the little glow worm here.

She's going to be in a wedding this fall and had developed a bad case of anti-dressiness. The silly sister's helped the oldest child in the only way they knew how; by dressing in their own scratchy dresses and flouncing around all high and mighty. This of course made little glow quite eager to join them and she proudly put on her own little dress and flounced about with every bit of vanity that the silly sister's had displayed. We're all very proud of her.

the bummer blog

our little glow worm has left us for greener trees
and we have not the heart to write....


not even the one eyed mutt was allowed to remain to comfort us...sob.

sniff...sniff...snort...sniffle...sob...








We're gonna miss that dog.

our little glow worm

When she says "Apple", she really means, "helper" as in, she's a "happle"

When she runs to the bathroom to go potty, she does in fact know what she's going there to do, thats why she insists on shutting the door after pushing whoever was following her out.

She developed a very good learning system where instead of learning two names for two people she'd just apply the same name to as many people as possible. Thats why all older men are "Bumpa". She used to be able to say the middle childs name quite clearly, and naturally she used it for the youngest child as well. Until one day the youngest child taught her how to say "ll's" very well and ever since then, both the middle child and the youngest child are refered to(by the little glow worm) by the youngest childs name.

Little glow likes tractors. She likes to tell stories about tractors, "Bumpa! brumbrumbrum." and with that she makes a scoop with her hand to pick up imaginary dirt and she moves her hand over to an imaginary pile and drops the imaginary dirt making the imginary pile higher.

She thinks she can turn on the dinning room light just by rubbing her fingers together, this is the favorite brothers fault (he's an electician you know). She was even convinced that her kiss to someone elses fingers would transfere the lighting power.

She grew up in one night, while her mother was trying to put her to bed, little glow pointed to the door and said, "out" and she fell asleep on her own while her poor mother sat in a chair in the living room and wondered how it had happened so fast.

She wants everything, "Me.(pointing at her little chest) That!(pointing at whatever it is she desparatly wants)"

"Peas". could mean anything from "cheese" to "please". she calls real peas, "balls".

There is a scene in the new Pink Panther where the guy is learning to speak flawless english, every word he repeats has no simalarity to the original word until finnally at the end, all his english words sound the same. Well thats what teaching little glow worm new words is like, she does okay with the first word, but the second always sounds exactly like the first, untill finally all the words she's repeating sound something like the middle childs name.

she knows more than we know she knows.

Her first clear sentence was, "don't do that"(she must have heard that a lot, but we're not about to admit it)

She likes to spell her name, usually she just mubles it to her self, "g. o. r. i. l. g. o. a. i." until someone steps in and helps her a little with her ordering.

We miss our little glow.

The recovery

The middle child and the youngest child are still in recovery from the large amount of people they were subjected to while on their last mission.

They beg us to report though, that they are quite certain, if they ever got a real job, they'd always be employee of the month...

before our banishment

We were allowed to take a few hours detour to see the cutest little butten we've ever had for a nephew.

We took the liberty of taking a picture for the blog, we hope this will satisfy all our veiwers.

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Oh, we can't help ourselves.

Little Lawrence David Oberg was named for his two grandpas.

His timing made the difference between two very long weeks or one very long day.

We, the newsy news staff, are at the MN State Fair serving a two week self imposed(in an involentary sort of ways) sentence. Please, everyone, stop by the Grand Stand and relieve our suffering...

or we're bound to complain here...

He's coming! He's coming! He's....here!!!!

We have another Monday's child!!!!

Our latest edition, 2007 model baby has finally arrived at 5pm today, 2 weeks early, 6lbs 4oz. heavy, 19in. long, 6in. wide, 0 teeth, black hair, 8 fingers, 2 thumbs, 10 toes, and remains nameless as of 5:30. But he's already a lucky little guy, he was the 10,000 hit on our sight counter! He gets 1000 newsy points to spend at any newsy store as soon as he's old enough to count that high.



When we asked the favorite brother if he was cute, the answer was, with great confidence, "oh yeah."

We did manage to get a photo, not of the baby, we haven't seen him yet, but its of a onesy he'll wear someday. We thought everyone would like to see this first picture...

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"Let's hear it for the boy"

A new business proposition

Newsy news is now selling advertisement space on this blog.



Eat at The Pizza Mill.



We reserve the right to write and, or, rewrite any and all advertisements we post. we also reserve the right to not post advertisments we have had to rewrite. Any advertisments we have not writen will not appear on this blog, any advertisment that has not been prepaid will not appear on this blog, any advertisment that lacks a humoris eliment will not appear on this blog, any advertisment we have had to write will not appear on this blog, any advertisment that we don't like will not appear on this blog...

A scene from finding Nemo

At the end of the movie, there is a scene where all the fish who were escaping from the dentist office were in little plastic bags full of water and they were very heroically rolling them to the sea.

Well, in honor of that great moment of brilliance, the favorite Brainerd Grandparents little fishies decided to recreate that scene. And much to the middle child’s surprise (she was the unknowing accomplice who put them in the bags) they were very capable of rolling their bags where ever they chose to go.

Where the songs take us

*these aren’t necessarily the titles to the songs, and yes most of them are country


It’s a long trip alone: especially through Indiana

My red high heels: Any and every state between Nevada and Minnesota.

Someday baby: Kentucky anyone?

What I’m doing these days: must be a southern Indiana thing

Shot through the heart: and straight to Blake

Its just another manic Monday: in the walls of our sheet rock…

Tear drops on my guitar: 10pm "out at the wood pile"

It was a different time, when we were boys and girls: every time we come home from the dump, sob

If your going through hell, keep on going: the little flying J store at the Illinois-Wisconsin border.

I’m gonna sit right here and have another beer in Mexico: that’s right, Texas

They say we’re crazy, what do they know: The top floor keeps telling the basement that.

This love has taken lift off: some where between Texas and Kentucky

Best times we’ll never remember: we don’t really recall.

Summer Time: Pennsylvania in January and February

My shadows the only one that walks beside me: going to the movies

Fly away, over the mountains, over the mountains: Eau Claire Wisconsin in the middle of the night.




and we've traveled far today

the return of the hero

No, this post isn't about the heroic one eyed wonder...its about his master, the favorite brother-in-law, who arrived on a great black bus somewhere in the twin cities last Newsyday at noon.

If we had the eliquence, we would tell everyone how his darling wife was there to run into his arms the moment he set eyes on her. We would tell everyone how, with him wearing his nice crisp uniform, and her wearing an eligant yellow dress they looked so much like a fifities war movie that the local news camera crew couldn't stop taking footage of their...ah, church kiss. We would tell everyone how his child looked on in wide eyed wonder over a stranger stealing kisses from her mother. We would tell everyone how his perfect little glow worm took to him right away and began telling him tall tales about the one eyed mutts wild adventures, which went something like, "Deeciee! NO! NO! No! No! No!...eeeh eee eee eee."

If we could, we would have just posted the picture of their reunion....but thats not possible at this time. Later perhaps...

The frieght train

Those aren't butterfly wings.

We lost some facea to the tornado.

And that one tree, by that one cabin, at that one corner.

Oh, and that other tree by that other cabin near that one bay. Oh, and a few trees on the point

Frankly, we didn't realize it was a tornado until little glow worms enertube went sailing by both of the bay windows.

Luckily, neither of the sheetrockers were sucked out the windows, though they claim it was rather percarious by the windows on the third floor.

The indoor outhouse

"They drew first blood"

This post is lovingly dedicated to our favorite brother-in-law whose birthday was today.

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"They drew first blood"

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If its a war they want, we'll give it to them.

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"They drew first blood..."

We did not…

We did not eat first breakfast at 5:55. We did not go for a sunrise kayak ride at 6am. We did not eat second breakfast at 6:33. We did not walk the dog. We did not eat a third breakfast. We may have given a tour of the house. We did not show off the hammers and staplers. We did eat hot dogs by a campfire…sponsored by the angles on the favorite parents new house. We did not mow lawn. We did not play croquet. We did not play disc golf. We did not get lost in the forest. We did not eat the one eyed mutt.


But we did hang the favorite mothers cabinets...and the newsy news birthday/cattail party had the best turnout yet!

Happy 6th Birthday Newsy News!!!

As usual, in honor of our cute little company’s birthday, we will be celebrating in style at the 4th annual cattail party. We have a full list of newsy party activities planned… guaranteed to leave even the heartiest of partiers completely exhausted by the end of the longest day of the year. For, though we don’t have any cabins lined up to clean this year, we do have grass growing up to our knees (not quite as bad as last week…but we have tried)…and there’s nothing more partyish than mowing all the lawn in the shape of a croquet field (much to our favorite parents embarrassment).

Unfortunately, due to the new high rises going up all over and in consequence of the civilization, power lines, our disc golf game will have to be played while running wild through the forests, its only one hole: Par-103…be careful of the sand pit and the two ponds, mamas pond and lost pond…that is if anyone is unfortunate enough to find the second one….if you do happen to find the seconded one, chances are pretty good you’re lost…at that point you’ll just want to take the stroke and forget the disc golf. Take a solid right at that unfortunate lost pond…you may not think it’s a pond, but if your feet start to get wet, you’ve found the lost pond, and you’re lost. But if you take a right, that will lead you to…well we don’t rightly know, the silly sister’s just kind of bowl their way through when they hit the lost pond. If it happens to be cloudy, you might as well just sit down and cry, of course, as this will be a newsy party, just do what ever it is the silly sister’s are doing…chances are though, if its cloudy, they’ll be sitting down and crying….well maybe not right away, but when it starts to get dark they will be…

Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes the newsy news cattail party! Everyone’s invited…we have a full agenda planned and an empty guest list. It seems our reputation proceeds us and last years party was the bomb… or whatever. But its a little disheartening to us that the favorite parents crew decided they couldn’t be paid to attend…not even for the snack times. Oh well, the youngest child will be making her famous eggshell cake as usual so please come eat it…

5:55am: A very fast breakfast
6am: The usual sunrise kayak ride,
6:33: 2nd breakfast
At 7: the usual walk the dog game.
7:30: 3rd Breakfast
Starting at 8: Tours of the house begin.
8:15, 8:30, 8:45: Snack time every fifteen minutes
At 9: A showing of the hammers and staplers that have been the woes of the silly sister’s fingers at which point both silly sister’s will beat the hammers and the staplers until they feel better.
10: snack time
11: The grand game of mowing all the lawn in the shape of croquet!!
12: Lunch…probably hot dogs.
1pm: Snack time
2pm: Game of croquet, Newsy vrs not Newsy(or is everyone supposed to be on their own teams? Well, we’ll just make it up as we go along...like usual)
3pm: Snack Time
4pm: the forest game of disc golf
5pm: eat snack…if lost eat what ever looks good….but no eating the one eyed…never mind.
6pm: Remain calm.
7pm: Favorite parents will not be worried yet.
8pm: Remain calm
9pm: try thinking of ways to build a shelter.
10pm: Favorite parents will wonder, in passing as they go to bed, where everyone is.
10:30: Remain calm.
10:45: the silly sister’s cry for mamma and because their tummies are hungry.
11pm: The silly sister’s will no doubt have cried everyone to sleep at this point.


And thats the plan for the longest most wonderful newsy birthday/cattail party ever!!!!

the Grand ol Newsyday

Last weeks newsyday was a pretty exciting day. Not only did we have the rather high excitment of 3 loaded cement trucks coming 45 minutes apart, we also had the great joy of rushing around trying to build forms in case we had some left over.
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In the picture above,

the youngest child is demonstrating how to hold a drill with her right hand while expertly holding a screw in her left...something everyone should practice doing.
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>>"Hurry! Hurry! They're coming!!! They'RE COMING!!!! AHHHHHHH."

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<><> Oops, wrong picture, but thats little glow smiling happily!
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Thats right, they came.


Heres one more picture, and if you look closley you can see the inside of the house.

A little tore up- injury #8

This is one of the silly sisters toes,

the nail was clumsy enough to get cought under a cuboard that was being moved and in consequence was bent backwards.

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When it happened, the sensitive, soft hearted, favorite father looked down on it and consolingly said,

“Well, at least now you’ll have something to blog about.”

Yes indeed, some sacrifice is necessary in the world of blogging...what’s a toe here or there?

The party

We had a bachelorett party on Tuesyday for our favorite newest June bride

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Enough girls for some real good cackeling.

We also hired some entertainment for the party. Perhaps if that had been common knowledge before hand, more cackelers would have come.

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The middle child was less impressed than the goofy giggle grinned youngest child, who was at least good enough to cover the glow worms eyes...sort of. We don't know if the June bride was impressed or not, she still hasn't removed her hands from her eyes.

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Oh, she must have peaked at the wrong moment.

lesson learned.

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We're actually just kidding in the pictures, our hired entertainers left 2 hours before the party began, and they were singers...

Our humblest apologies

We would like to extend our humblest apologies to the little town we gallivant in for the shortage of 4x12 sheetrock we may have caused at Lowes. We were very much in need of an expeditious shipment and thought not of how much we may be putting out our favorite gallivanting town. We have now had time to consider our actions as a little hasty in taking all the product, but we are slightly consoled by the idea that anyone who is really in need of sheetrock may use 4x8 instead, since we didn’t take any of those. If this proves to be too much of an inconvenience to anyone, feel free to stop by the happy place for a sheet or two, we could possibly spare one at the Lowes price.

Each pile is about 5ft high

In honor of our heroic field staff,

This is a special post dedicated to recognizing our field staff and their harrowing experiences and accomplishments…or at the very least, what ever it is they do.

*Poor little tender tush and her noble chauffer, who have learned the beauty of the saying “3 steps back 1 step forward”…perhaps that’s not quite how it goes…but so it goes for them.

*Blueberry and Mushroom who have much to say about the weather rock and reportedly suffer greatly from deep thoughts.

*The silly sisters who have gallantly suffered finger-smashing hammers, which, much to their dismay, don’t always leave a mark.

*The middle child and the youngest child, who have lived through (without tears) staples that do, in fact, go into fingers…and get stuck.

*The demolition child and her accomplice wrecker, who heroically dodge all evil attempts that gravity pulls to toss them from their precarious and rather awkward ladder’s.

*Clumsy and dumbsy who suffer greatly from (but with only mild complaining and wailing) hook blades and evil tractors.



All this our heroic field team gallantly brave and more…for something to blog about.

So the big question we here at the newsy offices have for our dear field editors is, WHERE ARE THE STORIES??


And if any of you dare blame it on that poor one eyed mutt…

Our review of the..sob...

Pirate movie


First and foremost we’d like to state that we were heartily dismayed over the ending. And of course we waited for the after credits stuff. The state of our melancholy was so intense after we left the theater, we didn’t even notice that we waited over half an hour at Lowe’s for someone to take our sheet rock out of the van when we were fully capable of doing it ourselves in half the time…or at least 2/3 of the time…or possibly 9/10 of the time…well at least we wouldn’t have been staring into the abyss for the half hour; it could have served to keep our blubbering brains busy for at least 45 minutes…but we get lazy when our poor sentimental hearts are all aflutter. Our poor little tender minds still can’t bare to think about the…but we don’t want to ruin it for anyone…perhaps if we had been prepared for disappointment we wouldn’t have been so disappointed.

At least they were…first. Which is highly un-Hollywood like. But really, the ending is too Superman/Starwars/ish…with the wonderful exception that they were...and publicly…kind of...how about an original ending for a change though…or something more predictable? Wouldn’t that have been nice? He didn’t have to…and what a twit! The only theme carried through all three movies is Miss Swan this, and Miss Swan that…other than that we couldn’t follow the…but what girl could when Orlando Bloom is actually acting and not just being pretty?…perhaps it wasn’t so bad…we still think Will should have…yes indeed he should have.

don't even get us started on Jack...

Oh look at the time!

the bunny

"When I'm happy my ears wiggle and my foot taps up and down.
When I'm happy I will giggle and I never ever frown.
I'm your freindly easter bunny, I've come to town to day, with a basket full of candy and a lot of games to play..."

Thank you little glow, for loving to push buttons, and for holding onto the bunnies ears while he's happy.

There comes a time…

There comes a time, in every spring, when the silly sister’s stop to evaluate what is important in their lives. They work quietly by themselves and carefully way the pros and cons of the greatest decision of every spring. Diligently they reflect on the happy winter that has passed, and wonder once more if it is really over and safe to act on their reflections. And then, the moment arrives, it’s too hot to postpone the inevitable…the decision is made…and two hours later, they can wear shorts again.

hee hee hee hee

"Oh look..."

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"This one is the middle child...and this one is the youngest child...hee hee hee"

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For best results, say it in a very high voice like the boys do...

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Proof that, "The youngest child, the middle child and the twins were here" unfortunatly, the children weren't allowed to leave it uncovered, so no one will ever be able to see this fine peice of art in person.

The A, B, C's according to newsy,

A is for another Albatross accident
B is for baby Bambi being bitten
C is for crazy cousins camping
D is for drowning dusty donuts
E is for Effluvium
F is for favorite flattery food
G is for going gallivanting! Good gravy
H is for happy humble hermit homes
I is for ignorant ink igloos
J is for joining jobs just joking
K is for kindly kidding kids
L is for lousy losing lynx
M is for my most memorable memory moments!
N is for nosy newsy news
O is for only out of order
P is for pretty pink ponies playing
Q is for quiet quaint quarterbacks
R is for romantic rivers rhyming
S is for silly sister’s sadly saying something stupid
T is for tis totally tuesyday tonight
U if for unfortunately unwillingly unable…understand?
V is for Villain voter! Victory vanity!!
W is for water warthogs wailing wildly
X is for Xerxes Xylophone
Y is for yucky young yaks
Z is for zesty zilch zigzags

another for the wall of fame

The newsy field editors hardly working....er...working, hardly...

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well, at least their doing what ever it is they do.

1000 newsy points to the first person who can tell us who the silly sister's are with!

And then we got high

We fear, that if we tell everyone just how high we got today, we'll lose readers. But the fact is, we got really high today! See....

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No, look how high we got...and we lath about it!

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Even little Glow got high...but not quite as high. She is, after all, only a toddler.
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Yes indeed, we lath pretty hard about it now.

A sawdust post

Have you ever woken up with sawdust on your pillow after a night spent sawing logs?












We have.

Who's tired??

This is how tired some people are before they leave for work in the morning.

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Obviously, this person got dressed before waking up.

Newsy’s 2007 spring swimsuit edition!!!

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This years super modest swimsuit is featured on Newsy's newest model, Little Glow. Her taste in fashion is remarkably similar to the silly sister's...But at least she'll grow into the shoes...

Have we mentioned we're glad she's back for us to play with?

Exclusive Photo!!!

This is the one and only picture of the inside of the house that we will be putting on the blog.

It was taken around 7:45am which should account for the bags under the eyes...and the glazed look.

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Anyone wishing to see what the rest of the inside of the house looks like should feel free to stop by…and ah, bring a hammer. We start at 8.

This was news two weeks ago,

The favorite father thought it might be beneficial to send his two silliest daughters off to a finishing school.



May the strongest wills win…and to the teachers good luck…we’re rooting for you.

here's to

Life
Love and
Sacrifice

Our toasts for this Easter

You wanted a picture

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Happy April fools day.

new sprouts

Lots of people think of spring as a time of new growth and new beginings.

Well, in the new basement, of the new house, there is new grass growing.




We were lucky enough to find it when we were pumping out the swimming pool.

Don't ask! For goodness sake don't ask!

A new day...

...starts tomorrow. But perhaps it would be better if we just started it now...naw, today has been quite long enough.

In honor of spring,

Because it’s the first day of spring, we thought we’d do something special here on the blog.

Instead of saying something very silly, we’ll be saying something sweet and beautiful, or perhaps mildly inspiring….well, at the very least, we’re aiming for something different …in honor of the first day of spring remember…nothing else could make us do it.

Okay,

Sigh,

The flowers…

Sigh,

The fields and the blue belles, sure are looking bright and beautiful compared to the hideous, mud infested snowbanks…sob.

In the war for spring, we’re not going to say which state we prefer…

We’re going home…someday.

Here's to frozen water!!!!

the newsy version

"We have gone to find ourselves. If we get back before we return, keep us here."





seen on a t-shirt at a boreing show






Thank you so much

The zoo, the zoo, the zoo!!!!

If people really believe the evilotion theory, then it should only be a matter of time before the zoo has a human exhibit. We're almost positive the reconstruction at the Gladys Porter Zoo is just for that purpose. They've probably even set traps out some where in the wilds of Chicago for a couple of wild humans they can tame and cage. But really, we have a better idea. We think that if they just called for a couple of volunteers, they'd have greater success than trapping wild ones.

Benifits include,

A nice room in a gated comunity,
Cleaned daily
Three meals a day
Fresh air
Instant fame (The object of every tourist's photo shoot)
Possiblility for advancment (hey, if the elephant can transfer to Wisconsin, a human could transfer to Hawaii)

Where do we sign?

The mighty one eyed mutt

fears nothing in Texas...except for the sneaky cactus's...and the fire ants...and all the reckless old people in gulf carts...shhh, we're the minority

sob

Whats wrong with people?

Didn't they know they were suppose to vote for Pedro?

Our friend Wendy…

No matter who it is who says something right, either the middle child or the youngest child will exclaim in a monotone voice,

“That is correct Wendy.”

Great call Blueberry

Who would have thought that little ol blueberries concern for watches would make News?

American Idol

One of the boys on American Idol has the last name Pedro, such an occurrence was irresistible to us.












We voted for Pedro

Injury #6

forget the crooked fingers, the little one stands alone for this one

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The good news is she hit the nail!!!!!

Titanium hammers, you either love them or...love them.

Happy Singles Awareness day everyone!! Or at least to everyone who is in fact single, everyone else can just take an expensive hike…

Today, if people show up for our formal pity party, we’ll put on our formals (didn’t see that coming) and go sledding (a real surprise) in our long-johns (always a catch in there). Then we’ll snack on chocolates that will serve as “upper’s” while we watch Seven Brides for Seven Brother’s and sob our pretty little eyes out. After that, we’ll crack open the fake bubbly left over from our New Years Party (one of our parties that lacked invitations) and toast our little hearts out to all our woes and misadventures.

If no one happens to show up to our little formal pity party (which is a very real possibility since we didn’t in fact invite anyone), we’ll put on our PJ’s, crawl back into bed and watch the 6+ hours of Anne Of Green Gables while we toast our good friend the Italian Angel …if you know what we mean…lets just say the oldest child has been looking forward to toasting our Italian Angel for a very long month. She’s hoping our pity party will be very pitiful and therefore all the better as a pity party.

Happy S.A.D!!!

Yesterday, or was it the day before?

Anyway, somewhere between yesterday and the day before we had the great honor to drive through a good little town called Flushing Ohio.

Obviously, it speaks for itself.

A personal question for our friends...

If we said we were wrong, would we be right?



just thought we'd throw that out there....we've only been contemplating it for the past ten hours.

"Have you ever..."

"Given someone the wrong directions to the bathroom just for fun?"

From: "Questions we're glad no one ever asks us"


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....ha.....ha.......ha.....ha...........h....a....hmmm. Sorry.


It was no one we know.

It was a joke...
he didn't even buy a wallet...
Come on!!! What else was there to do? We were bored...
Hey! He asked!Its not like we were just telling anyone at random.
Humor, its a difficult concept.

A bed time story...

Over the past month the silly sister's have been demoted from a king sized bed, to a queen, to a hid-a-bed. After the lights had been turned off on the second night sleeping in the hid-a-bed a great amount of shuffling and kicking went on before one of the silly sisters growled out in a low western voice,

"This bed ain't big enough for the two of us."

Tag we're it!

We’ve been Tagged by Mr. Freeze, and since we like a good game of tag, here it goes.

A - Available or taken? Good question, but we aren’t authorized to speak for each other.
B - Best friend(s)? Indeed, we are.
C- Cake or pie? Stupid question, they’re both sweet.
D - Drink of choice? Scotch and water without the scotch…or Rye Whiskey, duh…um, Milk?
E - Essential item you use every day? Toilet and paper.
F - Favorite color? Blue and Gray
G - Gummy bears or worms? They’re both sweet.
H - Hometown? Here
I - Indulgence? Our blog spot
J - January or February? Both have some good B-days in them, but we think Valentines day stinks or as we like to call it, Singles Awareness day, but we have had some pretty good pity parties.
K - Kids and names? Someday. Smith, Westin, Remington, Colt, Ruger, Walter PPK, Buck, Beretta,
L - Life is incomplete without? God.
M - Marriage date? Oh, we get it! It’s a wedding invatation!
N - Number of siblings? We each have 3 siblings, two sisters and a favorite brother.
O - Oranges or apples? Stupid question, next
P - Phobias or fears? One of us is afraid of snakes, the other is afraid of windows close to the ground.
Q - Favorite quote? “Our pets heads are falling off!!!” “Must be unlisted” “Indeed” “We may as well as not” “Take every opportunity to enjoy yourselves” and our favorite, “Pivot!!! Pivot” very dangerous.
R - Reason to smile? We smile because you don’t know why we’re smiling, ha ha ha.
S - Season? Fall for hunting, winter for sledding and summer for swimming. Lets just cut spring out all together, its dirty.
T - Tag three or four people. Mushroom, Blueberry, Lillypad.
U - Unknown fact about me? there's two of us.
V - Vegetable you don't like? Eggplant
W - Worst habit? Vagueness
X - X-rays? teeth, and everyday by the sun…
Y - Your favorite food? Sugar
Z - Zany or Zealous? we'll leave it up to you to determine.

Miss America,

We used to watch Miss America every year, and then we had the misfortune to go to Kentucky, and not just Kentucky, but Louisville Kentucky. And it was there that we received our formal education about real pageants.

We went to a cattle show called the North American International Livestock Exposition. That’s the place to have a cow judged if you want to be anything in the cow world. The first time we watched the dairy cows get judged we felt a little disgusted. Not at how the cows are judged, but how closely it resembles a beauty pageant. The cows are primped and combed, clipped and blown, painted and hair sprayed. Someone even walks behind the cow with a paper towel to wipe its bottom whenever it has an attack of nature. Then someone (usually an FFA kid) parades the cow, along with a bunch of other cows, around in a circle while a judge walks around all the cows and judges them on their carriage, their disposition, their udders, how they walk with full udders, their legs, how straight their back is, their gait, awkwardness and other things. Then the judge picks the one cow that best displays the requirements of a good breeding cow and suddenly that cow’s babies are worth a lot of money.

So we learned why cows are judged, and that it's beneficial. But what does it benefit anyone that some girl is judged to be Miss America? What has a Miss America ever done for us? Certainly not world peace, for “there is no peace for the wicked” and there’s a lot of wicked people in this world.

What does Miss America do for us? Maybe we’re just ignorant, but we don’t know; but we can tell you what a cow does for us, “Milk” “Steak” “Milk” “Steak”.

And one more thing before we go…

“Do you have any milk to go with that steak?”

Since we've been gone...

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The picture above was taken the very morning we left 3 weeks ago. The middle childs room is done, but you can see the walls are just stacked in the youngest childs room.

We know its not newsy style to have people who are not on our staff in our pictures, but the two people in it are paid professionals, they just don't work for newsy.

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And this was what we came home to. See the little ladder going up to the roof top? You may find this hard to believe but the middle child has actually expressed a dislike for shingling, and just so you'll believe us we'll quote her words exactly, "I'm not going up there"....!!! Perhaps its just the ladder she dislikes.

But we all know she doesn't mean it, next year at this time she'll be shoveling off that roof with the youngest child and they'll be jumbing off it into the piles of snow...ah, life is good.

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Well, maybe they won't be jumping off this front side....

Do they fish? Ha ha ha ha haha hahhah jerk.

While in PA at their last show the silly sister’s went to a booth of fishing tackle. They mauled through the tables for a few reasons, one they wanted to see what eastern fish eat and two they wanted to see if tackle was cheaper in PA than MN.

While looking through a very good variety of twisty tails (in the right color for MN) a man and his boy happened to be standing near by (and in the way). Looking up from his deep concentration of tackle the man did a double look at seeing two girls surveying the fishing tackle (obviously not a common occurrence in his state). Instantly sizing up the girly looking girls he said with too much confidence.
“You don’t fish…do you?”
The middle child nodded without actually giving him the time of day and moved on completely unfazed by the stupidity of it all. However, the youngest child, highly offended by his audacity, said with great pride (and a bright smile of course).
“Yes”
“You do?” Came the shocked, and very annoying, reply.
The youngest child was even more offended but tried to control herself as she answered with great sarcasm and a look of surprise.
“Ahh?…Yeah!” Then she smiled happily and moved away feeling slightly guilty for being rude(which, when read right, is exactly what she was).

Do they fish? The very nerve! We tell ya! Some people!!!…not exactly the kind of guy who would bring a seat over for a girl who was standing through a hunting lecture. Oh, but then, there are those who do.

And its been...

One year since little glow worm arrived at the happy place. One year since the favorite brother-in-law made it home just in time to miss the drama of child birth. One year since the favorite mother said, "Its a girl". One year since the best discription of little glow worm the silly sister's could get was, "She has no chin". One year since the silly sister's waited in silance by the phone for 16 hours for news of baby glow...well, almost by the phone, as we recall, they did have a fire meeting they sat in silance at for at least 2 of those hours. One year since the favorite brother got mad that no one was answering their phones. One year since the favorite Air Force cousin shared a plane ride home with the favorite brother-in-law on a very involved flight. One year since the favorite father said, "Its been too long, we need to pray" and after "Amen" the phone rang.

One year, its not so long ago, and another year isn't so far away.

We here at the newsy news office never realized exactly how one year could change a person until we watched that mere mewling infant with a little chin, who had nighmares of baths, become a jibber jabbering, heart twisting, fearless, social, wide eyed, always learning, into everything, adorable little imp. Indeed, how much we've changed.

Happy Birthday Little Glow!

To think or not to think?

Tis' better to smile and let people think you like them, than to not and have no one think of you at all...

Deep deep thoughts by Blueberry

Watchmakers must be hurting since cell phones came around.