the newsy version

"We have gone to find ourselves. If we get back before we return, keep us here."





seen on a t-shirt at a boreing show






Thank you so much

The zoo, the zoo, the zoo!!!!

If people really believe the evilotion theory, then it should only be a matter of time before the zoo has a human exhibit. We're almost positive the reconstruction at the Gladys Porter Zoo is just for that purpose. They've probably even set traps out some where in the wilds of Chicago for a couple of wild humans they can tame and cage. But really, we have a better idea. We think that if they just called for a couple of volunteers, they'd have greater success than trapping wild ones.

Benifits include,

A nice room in a gated comunity,
Cleaned daily
Three meals a day
Fresh air
Instant fame (The object of every tourist's photo shoot)
Possiblility for advancment (hey, if the elephant can transfer to Wisconsin, a human could transfer to Hawaii)

Where do we sign?

The mighty one eyed mutt

fears nothing in Texas...except for the sneaky cactus's...and the fire ants...and all the reckless old people in gulf carts...shhh, we're the minority

sob

Whats wrong with people?

Didn't they know they were suppose to vote for Pedro?

Our friend Wendy…

No matter who it is who says something right, either the middle child or the youngest child will exclaim in a monotone voice,

“That is correct Wendy.”

Great call Blueberry

Who would have thought that little ol blueberries concern for watches would make News?

American Idol

One of the boys on American Idol has the last name Pedro, such an occurrence was irresistible to us.












We voted for Pedro

Injury #6

forget the crooked fingers, the little one stands alone for this one

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The good news is she hit the nail!!!!!

Titanium hammers, you either love them or...love them.

Happy Singles Awareness day everyone!! Or at least to everyone who is in fact single, everyone else can just take an expensive hike…

Today, if people show up for our formal pity party, we’ll put on our formals (didn’t see that coming) and go sledding (a real surprise) in our long-johns (always a catch in there). Then we’ll snack on chocolates that will serve as “upper’s” while we watch Seven Brides for Seven Brother’s and sob our pretty little eyes out. After that, we’ll crack open the fake bubbly left over from our New Years Party (one of our parties that lacked invitations) and toast our little hearts out to all our woes and misadventures.

If no one happens to show up to our little formal pity party (which is a very real possibility since we didn’t in fact invite anyone), we’ll put on our PJ’s, crawl back into bed and watch the 6+ hours of Anne Of Green Gables while we toast our good friend the Italian Angel …if you know what we mean…lets just say the oldest child has been looking forward to toasting our Italian Angel for a very long month. She’s hoping our pity party will be very pitiful and therefore all the better as a pity party.

Happy S.A.D!!!

Yesterday, or was it the day before?

Anyway, somewhere between yesterday and the day before we had the great honor to drive through a good little town called Flushing Ohio.

Obviously, it speaks for itself.

A personal question for our friends...

If we said we were wrong, would we be right?



just thought we'd throw that out there....we've only been contemplating it for the past ten hours.

"Have you ever..."

"Given someone the wrong directions to the bathroom just for fun?"

From: "Questions we're glad no one ever asks us"


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....ha.....ha.......ha.....ha...........h....a....hmmm. Sorry.


It was no one we know.

It was a joke...
he didn't even buy a wallet...
Come on!!! What else was there to do? We were bored...
Hey! He asked!Its not like we were just telling anyone at random.
Humor, its a difficult concept.

A bed time story...

Over the past month the silly sister's have been demoted from a king sized bed, to a queen, to a hid-a-bed. After the lights had been turned off on the second night sleeping in the hid-a-bed a great amount of shuffling and kicking went on before one of the silly sisters growled out in a low western voice,

"This bed ain't big enough for the two of us."

Tag we're it!

We’ve been Tagged by Mr. Freeze, and since we like a good game of tag, here it goes.

A - Available or taken? Good question, but we aren’t authorized to speak for each other.
B - Best friend(s)? Indeed, we are.
C- Cake or pie? Stupid question, they’re both sweet.
D - Drink of choice? Scotch and water without the scotch…or Rye Whiskey, duh…um, Milk?
E - Essential item you use every day? Toilet and paper.
F - Favorite color? Blue and Gray
G - Gummy bears or worms? They’re both sweet.
H - Hometown? Here
I - Indulgence? Our blog spot
J - January or February? Both have some good B-days in them, but we think Valentines day stinks or as we like to call it, Singles Awareness day, but we have had some pretty good pity parties.
K - Kids and names? Someday. Smith, Westin, Remington, Colt, Ruger, Walter PPK, Buck, Beretta,
L - Life is incomplete without? God.
M - Marriage date? Oh, we get it! It’s a wedding invatation!
N - Number of siblings? We each have 3 siblings, two sisters and a favorite brother.
O - Oranges or apples? Stupid question, next
P - Phobias or fears? One of us is afraid of snakes, the other is afraid of windows close to the ground.
Q - Favorite quote? “Our pets heads are falling off!!!” “Must be unlisted” “Indeed” “We may as well as not” “Take every opportunity to enjoy yourselves” and our favorite, “Pivot!!! Pivot” very dangerous.
R - Reason to smile? We smile because you don’t know why we’re smiling, ha ha ha.
S - Season? Fall for hunting, winter for sledding and summer for swimming. Lets just cut spring out all together, its dirty.
T - Tag three or four people. Mushroom, Blueberry, Lillypad.
U - Unknown fact about me? there's two of us.
V - Vegetable you don't like? Eggplant
W - Worst habit? Vagueness
X - X-rays? teeth, and everyday by the sun…
Y - Your favorite food? Sugar
Z - Zany or Zealous? we'll leave it up to you to determine.

Miss America,

We used to watch Miss America every year, and then we had the misfortune to go to Kentucky, and not just Kentucky, but Louisville Kentucky. And it was there that we received our formal education about real pageants.

We went to a cattle show called the North American International Livestock Exposition. That’s the place to have a cow judged if you want to be anything in the cow world. The first time we watched the dairy cows get judged we felt a little disgusted. Not at how the cows are judged, but how closely it resembles a beauty pageant. The cows are primped and combed, clipped and blown, painted and hair sprayed. Someone even walks behind the cow with a paper towel to wipe its bottom whenever it has an attack of nature. Then someone (usually an FFA kid) parades the cow, along with a bunch of other cows, around in a circle while a judge walks around all the cows and judges them on their carriage, their disposition, their udders, how they walk with full udders, their legs, how straight their back is, their gait, awkwardness and other things. Then the judge picks the one cow that best displays the requirements of a good breeding cow and suddenly that cow’s babies are worth a lot of money.

So we learned why cows are judged, and that it's beneficial. But what does it benefit anyone that some girl is judged to be Miss America? What has a Miss America ever done for us? Certainly not world peace, for “there is no peace for the wicked” and there’s a lot of wicked people in this world.

What does Miss America do for us? Maybe we’re just ignorant, but we don’t know; but we can tell you what a cow does for us, “Milk” “Steak” “Milk” “Steak”.

And one more thing before we go…

“Do you have any milk to go with that steak?”

Since we've been gone...

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The picture above was taken the very morning we left 3 weeks ago. The middle childs room is done, but you can see the walls are just stacked in the youngest childs room.

We know its not newsy style to have people who are not on our staff in our pictures, but the two people in it are paid professionals, they just don't work for newsy.

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And this was what we came home to. See the little ladder going up to the roof top? You may find this hard to believe but the middle child has actually expressed a dislike for shingling, and just so you'll believe us we'll quote her words exactly, "I'm not going up there"....!!! Perhaps its just the ladder she dislikes.

But we all know she doesn't mean it, next year at this time she'll be shoveling off that roof with the youngest child and they'll be jumbing off it into the piles of snow...ah, life is good.

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Well, maybe they won't be jumping off this front side....

Do they fish? Ha ha ha ha haha hahhah jerk.

While in PA at their last show the silly sister’s went to a booth of fishing tackle. They mauled through the tables for a few reasons, one they wanted to see what eastern fish eat and two they wanted to see if tackle was cheaper in PA than MN.

While looking through a very good variety of twisty tails (in the right color for MN) a man and his boy happened to be standing near by (and in the way). Looking up from his deep concentration of tackle the man did a double look at seeing two girls surveying the fishing tackle (obviously not a common occurrence in his state). Instantly sizing up the girly looking girls he said with too much confidence.
“You don’t fish…do you?”
The middle child nodded without actually giving him the time of day and moved on completely unfazed by the stupidity of it all. However, the youngest child, highly offended by his audacity, said with great pride (and a bright smile of course).
“Yes”
“You do?” Came the shocked, and very annoying, reply.
The youngest child was even more offended but tried to control herself as she answered with great sarcasm and a look of surprise.
“Ahh?…Yeah!” Then she smiled happily and moved away feeling slightly guilty for being rude(which, when read right, is exactly what she was).

Do they fish? The very nerve! We tell ya! Some people!!!…not exactly the kind of guy who would bring a seat over for a girl who was standing through a hunting lecture. Oh, but then, there are those who do.

And its been...

One year since little glow worm arrived at the happy place. One year since the favorite brother-in-law made it home just in time to miss the drama of child birth. One year since the favorite mother said, "Its a girl". One year since the best discription of little glow worm the silly sister's could get was, "She has no chin". One year since the silly sister's waited in silance by the phone for 16 hours for news of baby glow...well, almost by the phone, as we recall, they did have a fire meeting they sat in silance at for at least 2 of those hours. One year since the favorite brother got mad that no one was answering their phones. One year since the favorite Air Force cousin shared a plane ride home with the favorite brother-in-law on a very involved flight. One year since the favorite father said, "Its been too long, we need to pray" and after "Amen" the phone rang.

One year, its not so long ago, and another year isn't so far away.

We here at the newsy news office never realized exactly how one year could change a person until we watched that mere mewling infant with a little chin, who had nighmares of baths, become a jibber jabbering, heart twisting, fearless, social, wide eyed, always learning, into everything, adorable little imp. Indeed, how much we've changed.

Happy Birthday Little Glow!

To think or not to think?

Tis' better to smile and let people think you like them, than to not and have no one think of you at all...

Deep deep thoughts by Blueberry

Watchmakers must be hurting since cell phones came around.