Thursday, September 15, 2005

This weeks workout:

Squaring the crowd
You will need a crowded place for this work out.

Ever wonder how some people get trampled in a crowd, while others seem to have the ability to make the crowd split. It can all be summed up and explained in one word: Posture. Walk with one shoulder slightly lower than the other, the crowd will shove and you will find you need to turn side ways to avoid crashing into inconsiderate and rude people. Next try squaring your shoulders and walk in a straight line. Look straight ahead, you should be able to see the crowd split before your very eyes.

Naturally some restrictions do apply as this doesn’t work if other people are not looking where they are going, stoped and not moving, or walking crossways with a list. And watch out for strollers, more than one crowd squarer has been taken out by an innocent looking stroller. But don’t let that scare you, all workouts required some sacrifice, and sometimes the sacrifice just happens to be the knees.

Just remember, stay alert and walk straight.

4 comments:

Nell, your friendly Red Wing Corrections Officer said...

Hmmmm..... I myself just dress up all scary looking and people tend to part in front of me.

Anonymous said...

I notised it helps if you are tall. The more unaware you are of the crowd the better it works too. I have a couple girl friends who are very good at this work out. It always amazes me! I just get in line behind them and we GO!

Anonymous said...

i just yell "HEY!", and it's like the parting of the red sea. Wide open and dry, baby!

Newsy said...

Dear anonymous,

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The newsy staff