Another one for the Texas Grandma

The oldest child had just come home from town when she walked in on her two silly sisters complaining about gas keeping friends away.
"Well, no one comes to visit me either." The favorite Texas grandma said, trying to make them feel less abandoned.
"You have friends coming to visit today grandma." The oldest child contradicted bluntly.
"I do?" Grandma was all astonishment.
"Yeah," The oldest child went on while every one stared in surprise, "I past at least two cars going 30mph in a 50 zone. They must be coming to see you. Probably be here in a few hours."

Deep thoughts by Blueberry

Oh, boy…now my brain hurts…

The Day Before Yesterday

The favorite Texas grandma got lost...well, the favorite family couldn’t find her anyway, so she might as well have been lost. The favorite Texas grandpa brought her home from golfing a few hours after her disappearance was discovered, reports have been confirmed that he was the driver of the get away car as well as her partner in crime. The favorite Texas Grandma now knows better than to leave the happy place with out telling someone.

A grouse fell off a log and disappeared leaving nothing but his feathers.

We have come up with two possible explanations to what might have happened to the unfortunate bird.

1. A hunter shot the bird on a log in the woods off a road. It completely disintegrated because the gun was too big.

2. Two silly girls were hunting. They shot the bird in the woods off a road. They cleaned the bird leaving nothing but feathers and set the carcass up on a log as a decoy. They then giggled the whole way home.

Perhaps both explanations are needed to fully explain what happened on the log that day.

We’ve begun our trap line

By our calculations, we should have enough mouse skins for a fur coat in about 100 years.

Workout of the week:

Begging the question

To do this workout properly you must ask a question with out using a question mark. And since the only time we were ever capable of doing this workout was when we were in college, we will not try to coach you on how to do it. Just practice it a bit while we do the same.

A good question.

*Why is today a special day?

A. It’s the first day of fall
B. The oldest child is here
C. It’s the middle child’s birthday
D. It’s the youngest child’s birthday
E. It's not really a special day at all
F. All of the above



*Hint, there are only three right answers…

why? Oh, why?

Stupid geese…now they’re flying north!

Did you smell that?

The best smell in the world is the scent of gunpowder on opener day...unless of course it comes from someone else’s gun.

"Someday we'll get our chance, we just got to keep our eyes open."

inaccurate facts from our garden

If you leave a cucumber on the vine long enough, it will turn into a watermelon.

This weeks workout:

Squaring the crowd
You will need a crowded place for this work out.

Ever wonder how some people get trampled in a crowd, while others seem to have the ability to make the crowd split. It can all be summed up and explained in one word: Posture. Walk with one shoulder slightly lower than the other, the crowd will shove and you will find you need to turn side ways to avoid crashing into inconsiderate and rude people. Next try squaring your shoulders and walk in a straight line. Look straight ahead, you should be able to see the crowd split before your very eyes.

Naturally some restrictions do apply as this doesn’t work if other people are not looking where they are going, stoped and not moving, or walking crossways with a list. And watch out for strollers, more than one crowd squarer has been taken out by an innocent looking stroller. But don’t let that scare you, all workouts required some sacrifice, and sometimes the sacrifice just happens to be the knees.

Just remember, stay alert and walk straight.

Did you know?

This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because
This is the blog that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started reading it not knowing what is was
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because

How to tell if your grass is weeds

First find a nice patch of green questionable looking grass. Next, take a weed killer and spray it on the suspicious looking grass. If the grass turns brown, it was weeds; if it dosen't, well that’s down right surprising...the spray is probably defective.

We tried this out last spring. Most of our lawn was weeds but they’ve grown back now and every thing is green again. We’ve decided to keep the weeds, but at least now we know it’s not grass.

***Our 100th post!***

For our 100th post we thought we’d do a newsy news trivia question to see how well our fans know us.

The question is:
Who is the middle child?
A. the oldest child,
B. the favorite brother,
C. the middle child,
D. the youngest child, or
E. all of the above.

Think carefully about all the answers and choose the best one. Answering this question is enough of a workout for this week.

Morning Breath

That’s right! The Morning Breath is blooming at last! For those of you who don’t know, last spring we planted Morning Glory and Babies Breath together. We had hoped to create a new plant we could call Morning Breath. And you heard it here first that we were successful.

A special thing

While the middle child and the youngest child were on a walk, they were fortunate enough to witness with their very own eyes the elusive "dance of the ants."

What an honor.

How the favorite Texas grandma was persuaded

For the purpose of not having to write "the favorite Texas grandma" over and over we shall refer to her as Grandma for this blog.

The youngest child and Grandma had just finished cleaning a cabin in record time when Grandma commented,
"What on earth are we going to do for the rest of the day?"
The youngest child, who does not often think, replied much to her own horror, "There’s some trees I was thinkin of cutting down this afternoon." The youngest child would much rather have kept that a secret.
Grandma raised her eyebrows and stared down the youngest child with a look that everyone else would have known meant, "tell all, or else".
The youngest child returned the look with her own annoying habit of always appearing to not get it.
"Cut it down with what?" Grandma asked with an authoritatively demand and high voice.
The youngest child’s blank stare hid all feelings of panic as she mumbled in all logic, "The chainsaw."
"Not while I’m here you wont!" Grandma heroically held her ground. Just then the middle child called all the attention to a different problem and the discussion was over much to the youngest child’s relief.

Two hours later, Grandma brought the subject up again while taking her two naughty grandchildren on a walk.
"You weren’t really going to use the chainsaw were you girls?" Grandma did well to not sound patronizing while deliberately including the middle child in a discussion she had not been apart of. She had high hopes of appealing to a level head.
"Sure, we need to practice, in case one goes down on the road." The youngest child explained in her twisted logic.
"Yeah, then we won’t be as shaky when the pressure is on." The middle child sided with the youngest child much to Grandma’s dismay.
"Well, just don’t do it while I’m here." Grandma stated again to put an end to it.
"But we’d much rather do it while you’re here to help if something goes wrong, rather than when its just the two of us, Grandma." The youngest child said uncomfortingly to Grandma. It was, however, enough to silence her on the subject.

To days workout is.

Throwing on a sweatshirt.

After picking the sweatshirt up off of the floor, you must shake out the wrinkles and the bugs, this exercises the arm muscles. Then grab it by the bottom and toss it high in the air. At the same time it is in the air throw your arms straight up and wait for it to land perfectly over your head, this exercises your patience.

If it falls to the ground, repeat as necessary.