What ails you?

warning. (we don't know why, but we felt we should have a warning before this post.)

How to know what ails you:

If you think in terms of how it will taste coming back up, you may have the stomach flu. We recommend apple sauce and pudding, they’re nice and smooth for the return trip out and they’ll still taste pretty good.

If going outside is based on how fast you can shed your outside cloths if you need to use the bathroom, you may have an upside down stomach flu, that means instead of coming up and out, its going down and out, and fast.

If you can’t decided if you should kneel by the toilet or sit on it, you may have an upside down inside out stomach flu. We recommend carrying a bucket around so such a choice won’t actually be necessary to make.

If you feel rolled over and stomped on, and still you manage to do all the work that must be done, your probably a mother, and we thank you.

If you feel pretty lousy, and still you can talk about cutting wood, your probably our favorite father and your not really sick, its just sympathy. (we're just kidding favorite father)

If there’s no argument about what movie to watch, the entire family better head for the hospital, it sounds pretty bad to us.

Well, if these suggestions aren’t helpful for determining what ails you, we’re sorry. Oddly enough they were right on for us.

Please wash your hands with soap after reading this.